My nephew had 2 DUI

His parents are in denial and at the holidays, he drank most of the punch bowl. His girlfriend pays for his existence and he he has been on unemployment for most of the year. I was told by most of the family that this is none of my business and if I see this, I can say nothing.

I have fought with the family because I’ve been vocal about the drinking and the and I’ve decided to stay away from them. I don’t enjoy the train wreck.

Hard To Sit Back

by: Ned Wicker


Denial is a killer. If your nephew’s parents would only come to their senses and understand that he needs help, and that help is available, you could probably work together and be a positive influence.

As it stands, they are enabling the behavior and they may deny the problem because of how his problem reflects on them.

Maybe they’re scared and don’t know what to do. Maybe they don’t care. Call Al-Anon and avail yourself of their help and compassion. They understand.

It’s tough enough to get a loved on into treatment and twice as hard when mommy and daddy are clueless.


My nephew had 2 DUI

by: Lynette


1/4

Hi-I definitely agree with Ned’s comments.

I can also relate to your story. I had been in denial for many years with my son’s drug addiction. I just thought if we kept helping him he’d eventually see that he needed help and get help.

However, the opposite happened. I attend Al Anon meetings. There I learned that by helping you are actually hurting the person because they do not experience the full impact of the consequences they face. Also, if you help them you also make it easier for them to repeat the patten. Finally, after 13 years, I realized this. My son is in jail. I went to visit him once after 3 months. Also, I write to him but that is it. I am trying my best to “detach with love” as Al Anon also teaches.

Your nephew’s family IS probably in denial as you said. It is SO HARD to NOT HELP when you love your child so much. But, also I have to take care of myself and live my own life. My son has his own walk and I must have mine.

I highly recommend that you attend Al Anon. It is for family and friends of alcoholics and drug addicts.

Good luck and I’ll pray for you and your family-Lynette


Thank you

by:


Thank you both for the suggestion of Al-Anon.
I looked into where there are meetings in my area and I will go as quickly as possible.

I’m sure that being a parent who sees a child in pain cannot be easy. It certainly isn’t for me. I will continue to pray for them and help myself through this process.

The Aunt of the nephew with 2 DUI’s before he was 21.


Answer to your Thank You

by: Lynette


1/7

Hi again-I am glad to try to help!!

That is part of my recovery from everything – trying to help others.

Write again if you have any other questions or whatever-Lynette


Hi again

by: Lynette


1/7

Hi – I just wrote you another comment but I also wanted to tell you that I believe you should get all the support you can. Besides Al Anon, I see a counselor, talk to my minister and see a physician’s assistant.

I also have a sponsor at Al Anon who is a person you choose,and if they accept, they become a special person who encourages you to stick to the program. You should also get phone numbers of people at the Al Anon meetings that you can call. God bless-Lynette


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