I am a 20 year old female and I am addicted to heroin. I started using opiates when I was about 17 and wasn't really addicted until I was 18. I haven't been to rehab because I don't feel like it's the right time. Will any time be the right time?
I am a dancer at a gentlemen's club to support my habit. I honestly was interested in dancing, but never thought I would do it. Drugs are the only way I can deal with doing my job.
Now I feel as if I'm simply working to support my habit. I spend almost every dollar I have on heroin; I would say I spend a good $120 on heroin a day.
I was a good girl before all of this. In high school I played volleyball and was the president of student council. I took AP calculus in high school and took two colleges courses my junior year of high school. I was also in a scholars program my junior year.
I threw everything away for a boy who did drugs. I thought I was in love with him when later all our relationship was, was drugs. He introduced me to cocaine and opiates.
Everything I said I would never do, I've done with him. Now I am an addict and still supporting his and my habit and we aren't even together and we don't live together. I don't have any feelings for him, I'm just used to supporting him. And I don't want him to be sick because I know the feeling.
He started using needles... I still don't, but I'm afraid it will get to that point. I always said I would never use needles but I also said I would never use heroin. I know I am not helping him nor myself but this habit has been going on for years...when will enough be enough?
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." - Matthew 7:7-8