Niece addicted to oxycodone, stealing from relatives

Niece shots up oxycodones and whatever she can get her hands on, not even sure how bad the problem is since I don’t talk to her or her mother (my sister).

We known for awhile that she had a pretty bad problem, but the problem came to a head when her and her boyfriend started being friendly with their grandmother (my mother) and stole $100,000 from a lockbox.

They eventually confessed which was good because they had no fingerprints or anything to convict them.

Since then my niece says she didn’t steal any of the money her boyfriend did, then she changes to different stories. She is always lying. Her mom and dad stand by her, not really realizing how serious her problem is.

They think her grandmother is terrible because she pressed charges against them. They will be sentenced on February 20. I hope they get at least five years in prison.

What really gets me is my niece has not told her grandmother she is sorry or admitted what she has done. I told my mom until she does that she will never recover. I am also a recovering drug addict, from alcohol and cocaine (crack).

My question is do you think she has any remorse for what she has done, and does jail time usually straighten people up?

Our family has never been close, but this has gotten us totally torn apart.

Classic Enablers

by: Ned Wicker


First of all, I congratulate you for being clean and sober. You are the one family member who truly understands the issues and you can see what is going on.

Your niece is an addict, who is probably very sorry she got caught, but not sorry for what she did. Your sister and her husband sound like classic enablers, who refuse at any cost to believe that the daughter they raised is a drug addict.

But the sad reality is they are helping her die. Perhaps the time in jail will be of benefit and hopefully they will offer a drug treatment program.

The ugly underside of drug addiction is its dreadful impact on human behavior. Your niece was a partner in stealing all that money from her grandmother. Good for grandma to press charges and why not? A reasonable human being would not even think of stealing money from her grandmother.

How can her parents defend this action? Shame on them. It’s the boyfriends fault. Gee, guess how the boyfriend knew that grandma had all that cash in her lock box. Maybe he is a psychic. Or maybe your niece is a thief, who is going to have time to think about the decisions that she has made for herself. The boyfriend has his own issues.

Remorse, I doubt it. The disease of addiction causes a rational person to make choices that are bizarre and outrageous. They needed drug money and the $100,000 was very tempting. They made the choice. Perhaps, in time and after treatment, she might come to understand that maybe violating the love and trust of her grandmother, aside from the money, was just not very nice.

She may get a very good look at herself and see a selfish, uncaring, cold and heartless individual who only cares about getting high. The disease took your niece and turned her into a criminal.

I hope she can get treatment. There is hope and I firmly and deeply believe in a God who gives us multiple chances to turn to Him and allow Him to direct our paths. She can turn her life around and mend the fences. Perhaps one day she can sit down with her grandmother and offer a heartfelt apology, restoring that precious relationship.

As for your sister and her husband, their goal should be to get treatment for their daughter and help her live a clean and sober life. Al-anon would be a great place for them to get some support. As much as they may deny their daughter’s addiction and criminal behavior, they are hurting and they need love and support.


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