I'm only 14.

by Sarah
(Orlando, Florida, USA)

When I was growing up, I was always considered a "bright" child. I was in the gifted program, had straight A's and never got into too much trouble. I always said I wanted to be a lawyer, and dreamed about finally going to college. I had high hopes.

When I went to middle school, my best friend at the time started getting into trouble. (she had an extremely rough home life, and I don't blame her) She would skip class almost every day. One day, I decided I might as well just skip one class with her (I had good grades, so there was nothing to worry about).

We skipped in the huge handicapped bathroom in my school. My school had bathrooms that instead of stalls, they were little rooms. So people got away with smoking in them really easily.

When we went in there, there were already to girls in there. They were super nice and were fine with sharing the space with us. Then they pulled out a home-made pipe. It was the most ghetto looking thing I had ever seen. That was the first time I ever saw weed. They offered me to hit it, but I said no. I wanted to go to college and stuff, there was NO WAY I was letting some stupid plant stop me.

After that, I started seeing weed everywhere. Falling out of my dads wallet, I even found his bong. I figured, if my dad does it, how bad can it really be?

In 7th grade I was going to Halloween horror nights, and my friend had a pipe and some weed. We both hit it, but it didn't really do anything (because I was dumb and didn't inhale it).

In 8th grade I had a friend (with benefits) that would stay the night at my house. He had a bong, and agreed to let me hit it. After only one hit, I was stoned. I was amazing and I wondered why I had thought it was so bad. I began smoking here and there after that, but only on special occasions.

Summer of 8th grade was where everything started getting serious. I began smoking every day. I had connections to the best weed in the state. Everyone says my weed is the best they've ever seen. I bought myself 2 bongs, a pipe, and a roller. I was high every second of every day.

When school started back up, I started having issues. I didn't do any of my homework, because I was too busy getting high. So I had to drop out of the gifted program. But, I still managed to keep my grades in line.

One day I went to a birthday party. Everyone there was super nice and sweet. One girl said she was going to invite her friend from right down the street over, that he would love to meet me (he smoked too). When he got there I invited him and everyone else back to my house to smoke. I had just got a BUNCH of money, so had a lot of weed. From that moment on, me and him were best friends.

His name is Joey. After that night, we spent every day together. (he only lived a few houses down and we rode the same bus) We smoked constantly. I was getting high even more than before (I didn't even know that was possible). My grades started dropping. I was more interested in skipping school with Joey than I was with my class work.

We began getting a bit more experimental with our drug choices. I always told myself only weed. That that was the only drug I'd ever do. I didn't even drink. We started with GHB. We found a bottle of it in my dad's closet, and started taking little sips of it every once in a while.

Then we moved on to pills. We would only snort them though, because it works better. Somehow word got around school and I had even more connections than before. I even had a kid walk up to my desk during class and just put 4 pills in front of me. Like that was a normal thing. The worst part is, I didn't even ask what they were. I just took them.

That same kid began giving me 2 pills every day in exchange for a bag of weed every two weeks. (I don't know why he did that, I ripped him off every time).

I started also doing "whip its" which is an inhalant. I even convulsed on them once. I was just taking one as usual and I hit the floor and began shaking and going pale. Luckily Joey kicked me out of it.

I finally realized I was getting carried away. I had gotten so screwed up I broke my $200 bong, a pipe, and my roller. I kept myself up all night throwing up after snorting 8 hydros with Joey at Universal Studios. And I blew through all my money.

I got myself kicked out of school for missing too many days and other things, so I lost all of my connections except for weed. I had to move into the worst part of town. Me and Joey still hang out every weekend, but it's not the same.

I know I'm not going to college, or even finishing high school. All I think about is drugs. I'm only 14, my life wasn't supposed to be like this...

Comments for I'm only 14.

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Please get help NOW!
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Sarah,

You're right you are only 14. For you, there is good news and bad news with only being fourteen.

The bad news is that you're very intelligent but you are also a drug addict. Because you are only 14, your brain is not fully developed, which means that the drugs you're using are likely to be MUCH more harmful to your brain. If you continue to use, your brain's development won't happen as it should and once your brain develops incorrectly there is currently nothing that can be done to correct it. That's a very scary proposition!

Drug addiction attacks the brain and convinces us that we MUST use in order to function. Because some of the more complex parts of your brain like the cerebral cortex have not formed yet, you could well be harming your intellectual capacity and that harm may be irreversible. So that is very bad news.

So what's the good news about only being 14? The good news is that you've only been an addict for a year or two and addiction recovery should be easier. The shorter the length of time of the addiction the more likely that sobriety is possible.

You need to tell your dad and the rest of your family that you're in trouble and ALLOW them to help you. It's NOT very unlikely that you will be able to stop on your own, but with the support you need you can certainly get your life back on track. Many, many recovering addicts have attended college and are living life on THEIR terms no longer controlled by their addiction.

Good luck and please seek the support you need to get back to being a happy 14 year old person with dreams for the future,

Debbie




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