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Opiate Rehab?

by Dannielle

How long should a spouse separate from an addicted spouse when they are in outpatient rehab..I have been told one month. My husband is not happy, nor willing to support my decision to take a break from him while he is in rehab, but I have had it with the manipulation and lies in the past.

Granted he is doing everything right now to get healthy, but it has only been 2 rehab appointments and 2 Narcotics anonymous meetings. I do not want to continue on this cycle with him with our children, and I want to guarantee success for his recovery..so what do I need to do?

I really want to stick to my guns. I have 2 more classes and then college is out for the summer, and I want to go stay with my sister for a month and she has a job lined up for me. Everything in my body is telling me to go, but he can be very convincing. Help!?!

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Stay the Course

by: Ned Wicker

Dear Danielle,
Stick to your guns girl, you have the right idea. There are consequences for your husband’s drug use and not being with you is one of them. You can talk to the folks at the treatment center and get their perspective on this. They may have a schedule you can follow, a regulated visitation plan, or they might have you keep your distance. It seems from your description that you not being around is motivation for him. Good. That’s a goal for him. If he does the work and successfully completes his treatment, he gets you.
I understand your frustration with the lies and the manipulation, but that is his disease taking over and robbing him of the ability to make good choices. He needs to understand that your relationship is predicated on trust, so if you cannot trust him to take care of himself and not be a drug addict, you have no relationship at all. He will have to get into a healthy recovery lifestyle when he gets out and learn how to manage his disease, which he will always have. Chronic disease does not go away, but you can manage it and be healthy and happy.
It sounds like you have a good plan for the summer, so stick to that. Let hubby know that you love him, but his being clean and sober is a condition for you being together. Go ahead and keep your distance, and be smart. Many women cave in because their husbands turn on the charm. Be smart and make absolutely sure he gets healthy. You’re not being a bad wife you’re being compassionate, which is not to be confused with being an enabler.

My husband the addict

by: Anonymous

I can understand your pain and hard decision to make. My husband is addicted to heroin and has now moved in with another woman. When he left, I did not follow him.

He has left messages on my phone, stating “why will I not answer and talk with him?” This is the 3rd time he has done this. I explained to him, I was not going through this again.

It is hard to let go. But we must let go in order for us to have peace. I also graduate from college in June and ashamed to say, he will not be at my graduation. They become very selfish and full of lies.

So stand strong.

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