by: Ned Wicker

There is no reasoning with addiction, no logical strain of thought, no moral judgment. Your daughter has a brain disease which has robbed her of all of that and the ability to make proper choices. All she can think of is using.

You, unfortunately, are in the way and she sees you as an enemy, a non-supportive and unloving force in her life. Of course, she blames you for everything, because to do otherwise would mean that she would have to take responsibility for her actions and be accountable. She wants no part of that. It is always the fault of someone else.

I see the potential for law enforcement to be your good friend here. Police officers see this every day and the guys I know on the job are understanding people. If you can get your daughter off the streets and into a good rehab program (court ordered), she will have an opportunity to turn her life around. Out on the street, she will get into nothing but trouble.

You can talk to them and get their advice. I have friends who are county sheriffs and they are interested in saving lives.

Do not assume ever that your daughter will agree with anything you do. She is going to fight you. She may even tell you she hates you. Don’t listen. Don’t give in. She must go to treatment, period.

by: lydia

Hello my name is Lydia I have a 27 year old daughter that is on pain meds and is addicted. She is a mother of a 17 month old boy she has just started shooting oxycodone and i am not sure about meth and suboxone.

I need to know what i can do to get my grandson out of this situation.!This is one of the most heartbreaking things i have had to do,I love my daughter but i Love my grandson more he can’t help himself.

Need Help Please.

Lydia

by: Ned Wicker

Dear Lydia,
It is a decision that no mother wants to make. Nothing is more sacred than the relationship between mother and child, but when mom makes terrible decisions and is not accountable for her actions, the child will suffer. Shooting oxy and taking a variety of other drugs puts the child in jeopardy.
While it will probably do little or no good to confront your daughter, you may want to explain that you are concerned and you want her to seek help for her substance use disorder. She also needs to understand that her actions will have consequences, one of which is you going to the family courts to have the child removed from the home. The can be avoided if she agrees to go into treatment. Understand that she may not care what you say and she’ll continue to use regardless of the consequences, mainly because her disease has progressed to the point where she no longer has any choice. Sometimes a person will keep on using no matter what, so the only way to save your daughter might be to turn her in.
You also need to get some support for yourself and I’d suggest Al-Anon. It’s an organization designed specifically to help people like you and believe me there are moms out there who have gone down the same path you are walking on, so do not be afraid to seek them out and allow them to help you.
As much as it hurts, you have to focus your attention at protecting your grandson and getting your daughter into treatment. She will try to manipulate you, she’ll get angry with you and she’ll lie to you, just to get you to back off. Don’t do that. Stay your course. This story can have a happy ending, but you’re going to have to be strong.