by Cat

(Midwest)

This is the story of my addiction to pills from age 14 to 16, along with the drinking I did as well. I started doing pills due to medical reasons, but what the doctor gave me never did do the trick. I thought I was going to be in pain my whole life, so I was willing to try anything to stop it.

Living in a small town, the teenagers would get bored easily. Pills were the multi-purpose thing. Wanted to “relax”, have more energy the ever before… Well to us drugs were a life-saver, what an oxymoron.

It started as me just wanting freedom from my pain. I now know it was a path that could have killed me many a time. I kept upping the amount more and more. I went from self medicating to using them as my party drug, my escape, it was all such a thrill to me.

I decided to go big one night, trying to prove myself and friends I was invincible, I popped one pill after another, giggling away.

Then I felt sick, really sick. When I started panicking I told my friend “I think I took too many, please take me home, I need my mom.” He just laughed and said “I hate babysitting.” I started to panic, and that is when I blacked out.

I was in catatonic state, unable to speak, and my friend carried me like a rag doll. Still they did not take me home thinking I would just sober up, and their fear for getting arrested. I don’t know how I got home, but I do know my mom just found me in the kitchen lifeless looking. She thought I was joking until she saw my eyes, almost no color was visible. She didn’t know what happened, nor could I tell her.

I started waking up in an ambulance. They were asking me why I tried to kill myself. I didn’t ever want to kill myself, but there I was in the hospital saying goodbyes just in case I didn’t make it.

My mother crying, my father shaking his head, and my brother stared with sympathy. I recovered luckily, I stayed there for 18 hours. Once I got out of the hospital I knew my life HAD to change. I left those “friends” behind as they did to me that night.

I now live a happy, healthy life. I replaced the drugs with hobbies, I learned drugs are not hobbies. Now I get my thrills from playing music, dancing, and even fire-eating! I decided I needed thrills in my life, but something I can be proud of.