Rehab consequences

by Alyssa

(Cincinnati, Ohio)

I am an 18 year old older sister of 4 kids ages 7, 11, 13, and 16 and will be heading off to college in September and would hate to leave them in the horrid situation currently in my household.

My mom works full time making 6 figures to support our Catholic School family and travels for 5 days at a time nearly every other week and is still married to my dad who smokes marijuana several times a day, has no job, does not clean or cook, but only spends my mom’s hard earned money smoking cigarettes and whatever else on our back porch and attic.

He is also a compulsive hoarder and lives among filth which is another problem in itself but may stem from marijuana usage.

He is embarrassing for our whole family especially my very successful mother who cannot afford a divorce and doesn’t want to ruin her hard-working successful reputation, nor her kid’s reputations who are athletic and academic stars. Therefore she does not want to call the police or publicize my dad’s problem for co-workers, neighbors, family friends, teachers, coaches, etc all to witness.

Is there a way my dad could get some sort of rehab or intervention without involving police forces or sending him to jail so that our family is not severely humiliated and put under the judgemental spotlight of a typical Catholic suburban neighborhood and lifestyle?

If so, what are some steps that I can take before I leave for college so that my younger siblings have a better chance at being successful and don’t go downhill with their dad?

Force The Issue

by: Ned Wicker

Dear Alyssa,

It is a very difficult situation you are in right now. Your mother sure has her hands full. However, this is not the time to worry about your reputation.

Your father is in need of invervention and help, so your mother needs to force the issue. Is your house safe for young children? Your father sounds like he has completely given up on life. I know this seems unfair, but your family situation is going to be public knowledge at some point.

Who cares what anybody else thinks? As a Catholic, who do you think Christ cares about? Keep ypur relationship with God above your reputation and things will work for you. Your dad needs help now, so talk to your mom and try to force the issue.

If he refuses, reputation aside, he needs to live someplace else. Call treatment centers, AA, Al-Anon and get some support.

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