by: Ned Wicker

Dear Stephen,
You want to be a good brother and do what is in the best interest of your sister and I commend you for that. The problem you will be dealing with is your sister’s attitude towards receiving help for her addiction, so be prepared for her anger, her denial, her refusal to seek help and her lying to you about just about everything. It’s all a part of the disease she has.

Al-anon is an organization devoted to helping people just like you, who want to do the right thing, but don’t necessarily know what moves to make first. They have been in your shoes and they have a wealth of knowledge to share with you.

A counselor once told me that it’s actually harder sometimes to help the family members, because they are so focused on getting help for the addict that they don’t get help for themselves. Let them help.

You can also research local treatment centers and alternatives to those treatment centers. Your options are far ranging, from traditional drug treatment to faith-based organizations that combine therapy with spiritual guidance.

Your sister should also be encouraged to get a physical examination to assess her overall state of health. Depending on her stage of the disease, she may need other attention, even before treatment can begin.

Get together with your family and discuss this. Everyone needs to be on the same page in order to provide your sister with the support system she will need going through treatment and recovery.

As the old saying goes, a chain is as strong as its weakest link, so if one person is staunchly trying to work the program, while another is undermining the process, the results will suffer. One member helps, the other enables.

The important thing is for you to understand that you need to be in this for the long haul, to stand by your sister and fight for her, even if she fights against you. You need support and guidance, so Al-anon is a good call to make.