Someone to help throw an intervention

by Charlie

(Calgary Alberta)

I need help throwing an intervention. His family falls for his lies all the time and he needs help. They know but refuse to see that handing him a beer and talking to him just doesn’t help

Unity is Needed

by: Ned Wicker

You are in a strange situation, as it sounds like you’re a friend who is on the outside looking in and you’re trying to figure out a way to get his family to open their eyes.

Alcoholism and drug addiction are family diseases, and before you try to organize an intervention, or in some other way step in to help, understand that the family might fight you.

Therefore, go to someone who has experience, like a counselor or therapist and seek guidance. Al-Anon is also a good choice here, as they have been through this. You have to unify the family, get them to see his addiction for what it is, a disease that is potentially fatal.

Before you and the family confront him, before the real work begins, you have to formulate a working plan and vow to stick to it. The pre-intervention educational process will help everyone rid themselves of the negative emotional energy and focus on the need for treatment and recovery.

Someone to…

by: Lynette


Hi Charlie-
I’m glad that you are reaching out for help.

I have never done an intervention. The closest I’ve come to it is for me and my husband to get my son to go to a drug rehab.. However, at that time (about 13 years ago) it did not do any good. When he came out he went right back to using.

I’m not saying this to discourage you but to let you know one important principle of A.A.-the person has to really want to get help.

I definitely know all about denial as I was in it for 13 years. That is how long my son has been an active alcoholic and drug addict. As my one friend from Al Anon said about her son-everything out of his mouth is a lie. They are SO good at lying and conniving and at getting you to believe whatever benefits them. People at Al Anon told me but it took me all these years to finally accept it. I love him so much that I just wanted to help him but I was going about it in totally the wrong way.

His family really needs to see that by denying and perhaps helping him (financially, etc.) they are actually hurting him and helping him to continue using. It took me all these years to finally “get it”. But, perhaps if you show them my story it could help them. That is one of my life goals now-to try to keep other people from going so long before “getting it”.

Needless to say, I attend Al Anon meetings (for friends and families of alcoholics and drug addicts) and they help me immensely. It was a VERY VERY hard thing to accept that my son was lying to me, using me, steeling from me, etc.. And, it is AMAZING what he could talk me into.

It hurts to accept the truth but at the same time it was the right thing to do and to help me to do the right things for myself and my son.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! If you can get him to go to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting or a Narcotics Anonymous meeting that would be great. Any help that you can give him to GET HELP is fine.

Also, I suggest Al Anon meetings for you and his family. There you get help for YOURSELF and learn that taking care of yourself is very important. So often with a child that is using you are trying so hard to help them that you “lose yourself”.

I really wish you and them all the best and I will pray for you-Lynette

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