Son beginning to use drugs?

by Julie


Hi, I have a son who is 15 and it’s turning into a nightmare with him .. this last 3 months he does not want to get up for school on time he’s late everyday and I have my doubts about drug use and it may be cannabis I’m not sure , he does a paper round and generally he has about £35 a week pocket money and he never buys anything useful with it, he came in stoned when he was 14 and we have had issues with him ever since.

He has no phone as it’s taken off him and we don’t give him any extra money, he just has his paper round money, he has developed a really bad attitude and is disrespectful most of the time but just thinks he’s funny .. however he does seem to come in at the right times 90% of the time..

This last few weeks I have noticed he has a sore looking nostrils like he could have a cold sore in one of them and the other looks red too, I have not said anything to him other than he should put antiseptic cream on them and I am wondering do kids get this kind of problem if they start dabbling in cocaine???

I really don’t know other than the usual symptoms of the laziness and attitude, I won’t challenge him if there is no physical signs from such a drug but I do worry that he is messing around with experimenting with drugs ..
many thanks Julie

Son beginning…

by: Lynette


Dear Julie,

Hi-I am so sorry that your son has begun down the road of addiction. I would greatly advise you to go to a drug and alcohol counselor and ask them what to do.

Also, if they have Al Anon meetings in your country you should go to them. They are for friends and families of alcoholics and drug addicts.

My son starting using when he was 14 and he is STILL struggling with substance abuse he’s now 27).

We first realized it was really bad when my husband went to get some of his pain killer for an injured back (he didn’t use it that often) and found that about half of the bottle was gone. We got him into a drug rehab.. However, he apparently did not want to quit and the cycle has gone on for 14 years!

He is now in jail on a driving while under the influence of drugs charge. This is not his first time in jail. I’m telling you all of this to help you realize that both YOU and your son need help.

In the beginning all I did was try to help my son in any way I could. He stole and lied to me and was very manipulating. Even then, I just told myself it was the addiction, not him. However, I really went downhill myself, neglecting taking care of myself.

It is not until now that I realize that a lot of the times that I was trying to help him I was actually hurting him-because I was actually helping him to continue his drug and alcohol use.
Al Anon meetings have helped me so much-there you meet other people with the same or similar situations as yourself. I also see a counselor, talk to my minister and see a physician’s assistant. I advise getting some support for yourself!

You can help you son if he wants help but otherwise, it is sad to say, I don’t believe you really can help him. People tried to tell me that but I did not believe them until now. If he wants help you could start with a medical doctor or a drug and alcohol counselor.

My son has used cocaine but I never heard of anyone having a sore nose or red nose from it but I would not doubt it. Maybe you can find some info. on the internet about it.

Write any time-I will pray for you and your son-Lynette

15 year old son is a nightmare.

by: Anonymous

Dear Julie,

Sorry to hear about your son. Your challenge is especially difficult because of his age. I doubt that you will be able to reason with him. There is a great book you could benefit from titled, “Parenting Teenagers with Love and Logic.” This book shows you why consequences are the best teachers for teens.

Hang in there, this will take some time.


Keep A Close Eye On Him

by: Ned Wicker

Dear Julie,
You are observing many of the early warning signs of addiction in your son, especially the dramatic change in his attitude and personal habits. You need to form a plan to get to the bottom of whatever is going on in his life.

Just challenging him will only lead to an argument and will likely trigger some bad adolescent behavior. The redness in his nose is a good excuse to take him to your doctor for an examination.

You may want to ring him/her first and have a conversation about what has been happening. Likewise, organizations like Al-Anon are a good source of support and advice for you. A local drug treatment center is also an option, as they would help you to understand what you are seeing in your son and help you figure out a good way to proceed.

You need to formulate a plan, get the family together on the same page with you, and execute that plan to help your son. It’s good that you are observant and concerned. Stay on it and don’t let your son run the house. Be in charge.

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