The forgotten side of me

by kimberly gray
(toronto ontario)


See, late every night

With all my might

I feel greater than, just alright

Cause my powders in sight

Always sparkling white



I just forgot



Are you like this too?

Are you able, to be true?

It's nothing rare, for you knew

So here is my view

Just hear me through



I loved that I forgot



I could sniff or bang, even smoke

And I did smile, each time I did choke

Best always, after I just awoke

I inhaled and loved that first toke

My dearest friend, my powdered coke add muffled aine, aine, aine



I believed I forgot



So high In some cloud

Feeling numb and frankly proud

Its effect tamed my race, and gone the loud

No one knew better, no pleasing crowd

Best to stay, there, forever, like now



I chose to forget

I chose to forget chose chose



I did not ever predict

The disease I was infecting, my conflict

Busted, sentenced, now a convict

Everything I say, I will contradict

I dead inside, had to admit,


I was an, always an, addict
I was an, always an, addict
I was an, always an, addict
I was an, always an, addict
I was an, always an, addict
I was an, always an, addict
I was an, always an, addict



I had to know I forgot



White powder, my cocaine

Drove me to ways insane

With a buzz, no longer did I gain

Something in me, made a change

I had denial, admitting my own blame



I began to remember



Chop me one more line

Chop me one, just one last time

Then I swear I'll stop, I'm fine

OK last one now, not a crime, crime, crime, crime

Please do me a favor, chop me one last line



I swear for the last time



I began to remember



Despite who I had been

In front of all who had seen

I was stuck somewhere in between

Since the age of fourteen

And now I started to get clean



Chop me one more line

Chop me one, just one last time

Then I swear, I'll stop, I'm fine

OK last one now, no crime

Please do me a favor, chop me one last line

I swear, for the very last time



Chop me one more line

Chop me one, just one last time

Then I swear I'll stop I'm fine

OK last one now, no crime

Please do me a favor, chop me one last line

I swear for the last time



I clearly had to remember



I still have cravings, that soar

But now, less than more

Life merging, better from before

I have become sober, and had battled alive, in war

As, I do not have to get high, anymore.





I can never forget this side of me

And always remember what set me free

To actually embrace the sick side I could be






I remember the other side of me and what she can be, forever knowing I am not a bad person trying to get better but just a simple sick person trying to get well
Truth be told. The addict inside me Is brittle and cold yet It's incredible
The clarity, clarity I do now see is my cavalry
I am ............................ also among those too not to be forgotten clean or struggling to get there

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"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."
- Matthew 7:7-8


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