This is the hardest for me to write, I'm abusing Vicodin.

by Mark

This is the hardest thing I have had to write. I have been abusing prescription painkillers, Vicodin, for 5ish years. I have tried and tried to quit on my own but can't seem to kick the habit. I go 3 or 4 days but always seem to get right back in the game.

The viscous cycle of buying 40 pills on Monday and running out by Thursday and looking to score again on Friday, well this repeated cycle has eaten through all of my money and all of my hopes. I can think of nothing other than getting high first, then going about my business afterward.

My day begins with at least 3 pills when i wake up and 2 more on the way to work and downhill from there. I don't know where to turn for help. I can't afford to do a rehab stint (I'm already broke and missing work will just add to that drama). I can't tell my family, my dad is going through cancer treatment he doesn't need to deal with my bull right now.

What do i do? What's the answer?

Please email back some information that could be helpful

Comments for This is the hardest for me to write, I'm abusing Vicodin.

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You likely are opiate addicted, but there is hope.
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Mark,

From your description, it sounds like you are opiate addicted, which is why it's so difficult for you to quit on your own. Opiate addiction is a disease that attacks the brain and changes it so it MUST have opiates to function "normally". You need to go through withdrawal and treatment in order to safely end your addiction and to allow your brain to re-adjust back to how it functioned prior to your drug use. At that point you will no longer "need" the pills to feel good.

Although it may be difficult, I HIGHLY recommend that you go to a doctor and, in confidence, tell him/her about your addiction and any other symptoms that you have. They are likely very familiar with opiate addiction so that if you do what they say you can begin the process of ending this terrible disease.

Also, addiction is a disease which is characterized by RELAPSE! So even after you've successfully gone though withdrawal and treatment you are HIGHLY likely to relapse unless you immediately begin a daily 12-step recovery program. Put anther way you need to start going to meetings starting TODAY!

Moreover, you MUST begin going to AA or NA meetings daily for at least six months so that you can learn about your addiction and WORK the 12 steps. Without working the steps, you will not having the on-going recovery support you'll need to avoid relapse. Also, if you do relapse, you will have the resources available to you to get back into the program and to begin again.

You've taken a HUGE first step by admitting to us that you're addicted. Many addicts NEVER take this first step and their addiction becomes a life-long fatal disease. Working the steps and joining a recovery community is the best way for you to move forward.

Good Luck,


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