Drug Addiction and Marriage
Marriage and drug addiction usually don’t mix well. We receive many emails from wives/husbands who are at the end of their rope and don’t know what to do. Here are some answers to commonly asked questions concerning drug addiction and marriage.
Organizations like Narcotics Anonymous and Al-anon/Al-ateen are there just for families. Just as the 12-Steps were created by addicts for addicts, those principles were the basis for family groups.
And just like the addict, the family member is not alone. There is help and support.
Janice gathered up her things. There was a short re-uniting in the lobby as she signed out.
The moment was not joyous, no kisses, no “I love you” and it was like the husband was picking her up from work. His look told the whole story.
She was leaving the structure and security of the treatment center and going back into the environment she was in while using. “Graduation Day” should be celebratory, but something was missing.
In treatment, Janice received compassion and understanding from the other patients. In group it is obvious that they all can relate to each other.
There is human connection on a surprisingly deep level, even though the people in treatment may only see each other for a few days. That was going to be missing.
Perhaps she had resources lined up and could call on them at a moment’s notice. My sense was she did not. Graduation day didn’t look so good.
I. Family: Husband/Wife//Partner
Also, read this story about the trials of drug addiction and Marriage:
Drug Addiction and Marriage:
The group session on spirituality was just wrapping up when one of the staffers opened the door and asked “Are you almost finished?” For Janice, one of four women in the group, it was time to go home. She had finished a five-day stay at the residential drug and alcohol treatment center, and this day, as she put it, was “graduation day.”
It was a strange, almost surreal moment. After a stay in the hospital or treatment center, it should be good to go home and be with your. People, given they are medically stable and out of danger, heel better at home. Going home should be a good move. But was it?
Out in the lobby, her husband and pre-teen son waited. Now if my wife had been in treatment and was getting to go back home, I’d be excited. A big part of my life would have been missing, but in his case, the expression on his face told the whole story. Words can’t express the look. “OK, it’s time to take the addict home.” The son sat in a chair, head down, and when his mother came out, he didn’t seem at all enthusiastic about seeing her. In a moment, the family situation became very clear.
Drug Addiction Destroys Families
Drug addiction almost always tears families apart, as those watching their loved one struggle with the disease will bear the emotional scars long after the addiction is under control.
What might have been concern for the addict at one point in time sadly can turn to anger and resentment. It’s a kind of “Look what you’ve done to us” mentality and nobody has to say anything. You can read it immediately. The family goes down the addiction path too, playing their roles.
When anyone is addicted to a drug including alcohol there is no room for anything else. I completely takes over the person and the only thing left is the drug. Most families can't survive this and break a part.
It is rare that you meet a person in recovery who isn't divorced. Many do go on to build new families but the first marriage doesn't survive. The drug took over what otherwise is a good person and didn't let go soon enough for the family to survive. Another of the tragic consequence caused by drug and alcohol addiction.
Drug Addiction And Marriage don't mix well... marriage should be about commitment and truth and addiction is about lies and avoiding commitments.
Drug Addiction And Marriage, the marriage can be saved if the person addicted gets treatment and recovers from their addiction.
Drug Addiction And Marriage, Al-anon groups fully address this issue and the spouse of the addict should attend different Al-anon groups until he/she finds one that meets their needs.
Drug Addiction And Marriage, third parties may be needed to help get the addicted spouse into treatment. Contacting a local treatment center can help.
Drug Addiction And Marriage, commonly families are destroyed by the addiction and that's why it is SO critical to get support for the non-addicted family members.
Drug Addiction And Marriage, there is help available and the spouse must seek that help to have the best outcome possible. ACTION IS REQUIRED!
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and Finally Remember:
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."
- Matthew 7:7-8
Step 3 may be the most difficult and important of the steps in the program, what is it and why is it needed, this week on Recovery Now!