I was once in love with a heroin addict continued...
I have been looking for answers of my own to deal with what I have been going through the last 4 weeks single and free from the addict and being with someone for 5 years and finding out in the last 12 months that he had a addiction was the most painful experience i have ever had to deal with.
I met my ex-addict at work; he was handsome and so bloody nice. We had a great 4 years together, and at the start it didn't occur to me that i was paying for a lot of stuff because i was on triple his salary but i had comments made from my family but i shrugged them off.
We were looking at houses May 2016 i came off contraception Feb 2016. Luckily nothing happened as that would of made me hit rock bottom myself. But i found out he gambled his savings away, or so he said, so i agreed to help him save after he pleaded with me not to leave after being apart 2 weeks.
So everything was going OK May to October but i started seeing differences in his appearance. I thought maybe he was unwell, so i told him to go GP and get checked. He went he said he was ok just tired from work i believed him.
Two weeks passed and he looked unwell still, so i started going through his bag and found little clear bags. I'm not the brightest of sparks when it comes to drugs, as I've never been around it. So I had a chat with his sister who said what they were. So I started collecting them and after 2 weeks we had enough evidence to pull him. He lied saying they were old bags.
Waited a few days found more pulled him again he lied but we were ready for the lies as we ordered tests off line. All hell broke loose he shouted and screamed at us. I walked out stopping talking to him for 2 weeks until he wanted to be truthful.
He told me he had been using for 10 years here and there and that he became dependent on it and he would stop. I also learned at that time that he owed 5k in debts to loan companies due to buying the drugs and trying to gamble to get money to pay his bills. He lived with his sister so he had to pay her rent etc. He went to the GP and got referred for help. They told him he needed other help as their service doesn't support drug addiction.
I don't think he was 100% honest with the GP.
Got to December found out he continuing to use christmas was shit was i worried nonstop and i was getting stressed at this point. He owed another 4k out so you can imagine his useage.
I needed to talk to someone so i rang my friends who are close to him told them what was going on they said that they took a loan out for him in October, 3k, but they were assuming it was for him moving on with his gambling they didn't know about the drugs until i told them... they were shocked.
Told him he needed to go to find help due to the severity nothing happened. The new year came he looked dreadful and still does today.
Me and his sister got in contact with various support groups, reach out recovery are crap, no support at all but i found AA they were great with him. He missed a few meetings at first but that was because he wasn't interested. His useage went down but he was still using.
Got to April and had dealers messaging me saying he owed money dunno how they knew me but obviously through him. Confronted him, said he relapsed, all i could see was that he hadn't tried. He begged for help, me being me I helped pay his debts and this continued till August 3rd.
He was getting help but the damage had been done previous to the relationship i was looking at a family start and i have no idea who i was dating all that time.
Did he love me? Did he cheat on me? These are the things now that run through my mind because what ever he says to me i don't believe him.
I did everything for him, paid his bills, loans, clothed him, days out, food, took him to all his AA meetings and holidays and what for?? Heart break after.
The reason i got free was because dealers were threatening to come to my house were i lived with my family, so it was the addict or them.
There has not been a day that has gone past in the last 4 weeks where i haven't thought of him. We messaged, he has been distant which i assume is the drugs and addiction.
He not a bad person but my family won't accept it now after what i had been put through.
I miss him and it breaks my heart thinking that he will move on but i cant keep living like that. My family tells me i will move on i got a great job so i need to concentrate on each day.
But loving and leaving an addict is hard.