by SYNETHIA

(LAKEWOOD,WASHINGTON,USA)

I WAS ABOUT 14 WHEN I STARTED DRINKING AND 16 WHEN I STARTED POT, AND OF CAUSE MY MAIN DRUG OF CHOOSE COCAINE, PILLS IF I COULD GET IT. ANYTHING THAT WILL TAKE AWAY THE PAIN, I BEEN ABUSED, PHYSICAL AND MENTALLY, I WAS NEVER LOVED BY ANYONE.

MY MOTHER AND FATHER GAVE ME AWAY TO ANYONE WHO WOULD HAVE MANY AND IT WASN’T MANY EXCEPT MY GRANDMOTHER AND SHE TREATED ME LIKE CRAP.

I NEVER KNEW SOME OF MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS AND MY MOTHER HAD 13 KIDS SHE GAVE AWAY NEVER WANTING TO BE A MOTHER. I WAS IN PAIN EVERYDAY AND NEVER WANT TO LIVE SO I TURNED TO DRUGS BECAUSE I WAS TO SCARED TO KILL MYSELF.

I WAS SO MAD AT GOD THAT I CHOSE TO TURN TO THE DEVIL, I THOUGHT HE WILL TAKE CARED OF ME. HE TOLD ME TO DRINK AND SMOKE AND YOU WILL FEEL BETTER, FOR 20 YEARS AND FOUGHT WITH MY ADDICTION. I BEEN ABUSED BY EVERY MAN THAT I THOUGHT I LOVED, RAPED BY THEM, CALLED EVERY NAME IN THE BOOK, I LIVE MY PAST EVERY DAY.

THE KIDS CAME ALONE AND I NEVER KNEW HOW TO BE A MOTHER, HAD NO ONE TO TEACH ME, I BEEN PUT IN REHAB ABOUT 4 OR 5 TIMES, WENT TO JAIL. GOT KICKED OUT OF REHAB, THEN 4 OF MY KIDS WERE TAKEN AWAY FROM BY THE STATE AND NEVER TO SEE THEM AGAIN.

I WAS MAD SO I HAD 3 MORE KIDS, THEY WERE REMOVED FROM ME ABOUT 4 TIMES, THEY HAVE SEEN ME IN MY WORST. MY DAUGHTER HAD TO TAKE CARE OF HER YOUNGEST BROTHER AND SISTER. I HAD NO ONE THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT, I BEEN IN DOMESTIC SHELTER ABOUT I THINK 6 TIMES.

I WAS LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES, THEN SOMETHING HAPPEN I THOUGHT IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN TO ONE OF MY KIDS MY BABY WAS MOLESTED BY ONE OF MY MALE FRIEND’S AND THAT WAS IT I HAD TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT MY LIFE!

I MOVED FAR AWAY TO A PLACE I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT 3000 MILES AWAY. WENT IN TO A PLACE THAT WILL HELP ME TO GET MY LIFE BACK TOGETHER, THE LIFE GOD HAS PLANNED FOR ME, I SAID THAT IS IT LORD NO MORE DRUGS NO MORE DRINKING NO MORE BAD RELATIONSHIP. IT WAS HARD I KEPT RELAPSING MY ATTITUDE WAS BAD I WAS ALWAYS ANGRY AND MAD AT EVERYONE, FRIENDS AND FAMILY ALWAYS HAVING A PITY PARTY. NO ONE LOVES ME, MY KIDS HATE ME, I STARTED GOING TO CHURCH PRAYING TO GOD, ASKING FOR HELP FROM ANYONE.

MY KIDS STARTED DOING GOOD IN SCHOOL GETTING A’S, MY LIFE CHANGED, I BEGIN TO BECOME HAPPY AND LOVING MYSELF. THINGS WERE LOOKING UP FOR ME I WENT TO COUNSELING GOT MY MENTOR, HAVING WONDERFUL FRIENDS WHO LOVED ME FOR ME. AND THE DESIRE FOR DRUGS STOPPED, I STARTED TO BE ACTIVE IN THE CHURCH, TALKING MY PROBLEMS OUT AND NOT HOLDING THINGS IN.

MY LIFE CHANGED FOR THE GOOD AND NOW I AM DRUG FREE, AND ME AND MY FAMILY IS HAPPY.