Addict in recovery three years part 1

by Abbie

(North Carolina)

The first time I knew that I loved Hydrocodone was as a child. I had my tonsils removed and I took the syrup, it made me feel safe.

The next experience was in college on a blind date. My date gave me two pills and I fell in love. I found my true love.

I went to a well known pill giving doctor in town and I was set.

You see I come from a highly educated family, and I myself was an A student. The Lortab did not effect my social, or school life at first.

Eventually I began popping them daily around 5 a day. The prescription was not enough and I found a dealer.

This worked for awhile until he could not get the pills anymore. I came up with the idea to fake a tooth pain and then I was given more pills.

I pretended the pain did not go away until the point that I was given surgery for removal of the “ghost pain” tooth.

My mother decided that the surgery had been long enough ago that I no longer needed the pills. I freaked out and punched a hole in the wall.

It was then my parents recognized that I had a problem. I was sent to a doctor the same who prescribed the pills. He put me on a taper down method to prevent withdrawal.

It did not work, I found my parents hiding place and took all of the pills in a week, around 100.

So I was sent to in-patient rehab.

After a week, I thought I can do this. Then I left feeling great fresh eyes on life.

I had about 2 months of out patient.

Yes I relapsed.

And so I was sent to outpatient again. The relapse cycle lasted about a year, and reached its peak when I totaled my car when I was wasted and hit a tree.

I was sent to a halfway house. The house was okay for about a month until I was kicked out for gossiping.

I was so upset and had unprotected sex with a man I met at a meeting.

Then i found out I was pregnant.

I had an abortion.

All the while I had one class left to earn my undergrad degree.

The AA/NA meetings did not work for me and I found that they made me want to use (this is not the case for everyone, many find recovery in these meetings).

I wanted pills so badly that I made a deal with a man that I would sleep with him for pills.

This is not the worst I have done, I got involved with a married couple under the influence of numerous substances.