Daughter involved with a drug addict?
by Miriam
I have a daughter who is 20 years old and has a relationship with a guy who is into drugs, she was funding him.
She broke up a couple months ago, but now he is back saying he is clean, because he loves her. He has always controlled my daughter and now she is talking again by phone and I see her as being emotionally broken, she loves him but is scared to go back with him.
What can I do to help her not to be involved with him again?
What can I do?
I don’t want any problems for her.
His family has others with addiction problems.
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Daughter involved with a drug addict?
Hi-I can definitely relate to your problem. My son has been an alcoholic and drug addict for 13 years. He recently tried to stay clean and did so for 7 months (as far as we know) but then relapsed. I know you do not want her to go back with him. However, I have learned that once your children are no longer children, but young adults, you can NO LONGER CONTROL THEIR BEHAVIOR no matter how hard you try. I attend Al Anon meetings (for friends and families of alcoholics – and we also talk about drugs). This is one thing that they stress. Personally, I would tell her (if she wants to stay with him) that he really needs to get some long term help first -drug rehab., Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, a counselor, etc.-before she should consider taking him back. Perhaps you should get help, too. I see a counselor and go to Al Anon meetings. I think that at least a year of him being clean would be necessary, but you should rely on what professionals and Al Anon say. Also, we should NOT help them (either him or your daughter) if they are doing destructive behavior but, instead, let them feel the full consequences of their bad behavior. In other words, if they get into trouble do not help them, bail them out, or whatever. I rescued my son for so long and it did not help and, I believe, actually hindered his recovery (as Al Anon says it will). I’m not saying you shouldn’t help them if they are trying to get help. I strongly suggest you attend an Al Anon meeting. Good luck and I’ll say a prayer for you-Lynette |
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Tough Situation
The boyfriend says he’s clean. He is most likely manipulating your daughter, telling his tale to get back in her wallet. That might seem harsh, but he needs to prove himself, and hopefully your daughter isn’t being a sucker. If he is to be worthy of your daughter, and if your daughter has reasonable standards, then he has to go into treatment and be a part of the recovery community. You can encourage that, support your daughter and help him. Hopefully, he’ll turn his life around. |
