Estranged daughter, we need help

by Lori

(Canton, Ohio)

Daughter (stepdaughter) is using…we think Heroin. We have had custody of her daughter for almost 3 years.

We have no seen or heard from her until May (Mothers day). All she did was ask for money. Didn’t ask about her child or anything. Then again on fathers day. She wants to have lunch… she was boo hooing about how she is not doing good. But then next time it is she has a sponsor.

She has a very long history of lying , stealing, etc., usual addict behavior. She has not seen her daughter for almost 2 years. We feel it would be bad for the little one to see her only for her mother to go years again.

We need help.

It is my stepdaughter and my husband is afraid he will get a call saying she is dead. I expect it and have accepted it. I feel there isn’t anything we can do for her. She is in constant trouble and I don’t want to be around the crowd she associates with. Jail record a mile long.

We have enough to deal with besides being robbed blind. I feel it would be putting ourselves as well as our granddaughter at risk. The little girl is almost 4 (August).

We had to give up our life at our age for the little one and so we don’t want her not to be safe. We need to know if we should get in touch with her.

I am stronger and can say no to money, etc. My husband is not so strong. In fact it took him years to figure out he was enabling her. I am afraid if he sees her he will relapse. I keep saying to him, I am not going to be the one who gives her the money that she buys drugs with and OD’s on.

Should we not get in touch? I have never responded to her texts because I don’t know what to do.

Out of Reach

by: Ned Wicker

Dear Lori,

Sponsor or no sponsor, given her history, you know what she wants. I agree with your handling of your granchild and her mother’s lack of interest tells you that her disease runs her life and nothing else matters.

You might consider seeing her, you and your husband together, to make an attempt to get her into treatment. Maybe you can just say good bye to her, explaining that as long as she uses heroin you will not see her again.

Your step daughter is out of control, but maybe, just maybe, there is enough humanity in her to reach. You can call Al-Anon and get some advice from them. They have parents who understand your struggle.

Stay strong and don’t cave in.

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