Ex-spouse is an addict, abusive and a lawyer?

by Sharon

I have an ex spouse who is a lawyer and he has used the maximum allowed by prescription for 2 years. I had difficulty leaving him because i have 5 kids and no resources. He even said he didn’t want to make money because I would leave if he did, as I would have the means to do so. I finally left as he was getting so bad and now I am struggling severely to make it on my own. Even worse, because of his law degree, he spends a lot of time using his degree as a lawyer to threaten me, has drawn things out even longer.

Meanwhile the kids are suffering because he will do things such as threaten me if i don’t take them to his apt. He refuses to get a vehicle that all of the kids can fit in, and it is another method of control. Because of his knowledge and use of the system, and he can be a great litigator, it is difficult to get away from his mental abuse. He also is addicted to online war games and instills those habits into kids when they are there.

Stacking the Deck

by: Ned Wicker

Dear Sharon,

You have a lot on your plate. On the one hand, if your ex-husband is addicted to some prescription medication and that causes him to be abusive. That will certainly manifest itself outside your relationship, so I am wondering if others see anything going on here.

As for his using his law knowledge against you, that’s what many lawyers do. The law to them is a sword, not a shield and they will swing the sword to their advantage.

Are you now divorced and has your attorney any advice for you? It sounds like he’s doing his best to paint you as the bad guy, hiding behind his cloak of respectability.

My primary concern is for you. Do you have emotional support? He will likely use the kids against you, so aside from his drug issues, you are going to have a legal battle with him. You probably need counsel.

Dealing with the drug issues is a separate matter. Al-Anon is a good resource for help and support.

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