Fiance quickly becoming an addict.

by Jennifer

Okay My issue is this: My fiance is a wonderful man but unfortunately he is quickly becoming an addict. He is constantly purchasing a product called Vortex or incense. He is always looking for the next big high. He could pass a drug test easily.

He isn’t doing weed but is constantly searching for something to give him the same effects. Alcohol is bad. He can drink a 12 pack in one sitting. He does not know what his limits are. I fear if he had access to it he would surely drink and smoke every day.

It scares me because he doesn’t know when to quit and i don’t know what to do. I want to get him help before it goes any further. Please help me. An intervention is needed.

I know that he doesn’t think that he has an issue and our impending marriage hangs in the balance. Information or any advice would be good. I don’t want to wait until he gets to a full blown addict before i can get him help.

Thank you for anything that you can do.

You Need Help Too

by: Ned Wicker

Dear Jennifer,

It is good that you are observant and you see the trouble ahead. You need support and guidance, because if you are determined to hold on to your relationship and have a mutually happy and productive life together, you are going to have to get him into treatment.

Left unchecked, the disease of addiction will take over his life; you will be pushed out.

Organizations like Al-anon are suited for you, because the members understand your concerns, they have walked in your shoes and they will have sage advice on what to do and when to do it.

It’s important that you be well schooled in this area, so you can understand what he is fighting and why he does what he does. Joe Herzanek’s book, “Why Don’t They Just Quit?” is an excellent resource, as is “Getting Them Sober” by Toby Rice-Drew.

The stuff he is smoking is dangerous. It is sold as incense, banned in many communities, as it presents major risks for the user. The tell-tale portion of your story is his lack of impulse control, so you are right in seeking help.

You might want to check in with his family and get their support. If he has a mother, for example, who enables him and gives him a pass on everything, you are going to have a difficult time helping to guide him to the right path. Addiction is also a family disease and all members of the family have a part to play in getting the addict into treatment and recovery.

He also has to understand that his addiction is getting in the way. If you want a future and a happy life, he must manage this disease and stop using. Maybe he thinks he can stop on his own, or maybe he’s already promised you that he’ll cut back, but it’s all a deception. He’ll use.

You need to decide for yourself what you want. If you want to live with an addict, do nothing. Or you can get the help you need first and then move forward on a plan to help your man. It might take some time and you might have some rough moments, but he can get better and he can overcome.

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