by SYNETHIA L.
Do something stop sitting there and feeling sorry for yourself, that is what i will tell myself, why are you having a pity party for yourself? This is a question only God could answer, my addiction was over powering me.I lust over it, made love to it, cocaine had me under control, he was my best friend.
Cocaine came first in my life, he took all my money and then beat me down. I wanted to get away and ask for help, but nobody heard my cry, for years I cried out to God where are you? Please help me. The only one I heard was the devil telling me he not coming to help you, you stupid child.
First i thought if i drink alcohol it will be ok, but that was out of control,so i try weed and pills. None of that made me feel good just a hang over or i was always hungry or tired, so then i met the dream of my life Mr. cocaine, one hit and that was it, he is all i needed, he made me feel like no one ever could make me feel. He was always there when i needed him. He had me sell everything i got, Mr. cocaine took me away from my family and then tell me you do not need them anymore.
I thought he was the only one who loved me, Mr. cocaine was very jealous and no one could come in between us not even my kids. Why does this happen to us addicts? Does family really give up on us? Does everyone turn the other cheek? Is there help out their for us? These are question we have to ask our self every day.