Grown Daughter addicted to pain killers?

by Bev
(Indiana)

She is 28 with 3 small kids, divorced, and addicted to pain killers.

I think she is afraid she will loose her kids if she seeks help, what can I do???

Comments for Grown Daughter addicted to pain killers?

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She will lose kids if she DOESN'T get help!
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Bev,

Your daughter has a problem that is more and more common. She is addicted to opiate prescription medications. Opiate addiction is a disease of the brain that takes over and controls everything about your daughter.

Because the drug is in control of her brain she will lie to you and become a person you don't know at all. She will do ANYTHING to get the drugs her brain is telling her she must have.

Your first concern must be for her children. They are in a very bad situation that they have no control over at all. Your daughter must agree to a complete medical exam, to detox treatment and then to drug addiction treatment.

You need to start attending Al-anon meetings right away so you can learn what you're dealing with in your daughter. Go to the meetings and you'll learn the nature of your daughter's disease and all the resources available to fight it.

Don't let your love for your daughter blind you to the needs of your grandchildren. Your daughter MUST agree to get treatment or you need to consider removing the children from her care. I know that sounds very harsh but, as the disease progresses, your daughter will care little about her children and their well-being and much more about how she is going to get the drugs she needs.

Because she is addicted she needs more and more pills to feel normal and often the easiest thing to do is to switch to buying drugs on the street. The minute she starts dealing with drug dealers her children will suffer!

There is hope if she agrees to get treatment and sticks with it. Ask her to start going to AA or NA daily for 90 days. Attending meetings causes no risk to her children. If she doesn't go to the meetings, then you have your answer.

There is hope for her if she will take the steps necessary.

Good Luck!

Debbie

She will loose kids-please help them
by: Kathy

Dear Bev,

Debbie is absolutely right. If she won't help herself, someone needs to help those kids. I am about to finalize adoption of my 3 yr old grandson in 3 weeks because his mother had the same addiction; my son is currently incarcerated.
My grandson has lived with me since he was 8 mo. old.

In the beginning I was just taking care of him temporarily but things got out of hand and his parents did not take advantage of the opportunities given to them by CPS (Child Protective Services)to make things right. I don't know how your state is but generally Social Services' goal is to keep the family together and they went to great lengths to try to do that in our situation but the drugs had too strong of a hold on them.

Now my daughter-in-law is out of jail and wants to have a relationship with him & I don't know what to do. That's how I came upon this site & happened to read your question. I think I will try some meetings myself. Good luck to you & your family. May God bless you all.

Kathy

Your daughter-in-the-law can recover
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Kathy,

Wow, what a commitment you've made to your grandson and how lucky he is to have you. It's more common than you would expect that BOTH parents become addicted and the kids are left to fend for themselves or worse.

You're in a very difficult situation with your daughter-in-law because she may or may not be in recovery and therefore may or may not be able to be in her son's life.

One idea would be to allow her to see her son if she attends NA or AA meetings and works the steps. If she gets a sponsor and commits to her sobriety then it may be possible to allow her back into her son's life over time. There is no quick fix here but often time can mend all wounds.

Good Luck and may God Bless you, your grandson and his parents,

Debbie

Update
by: Bev

Well...it happened, she was arrested for perscription fraud.

Her children are with thier Dad, and she has been staying at my house.

The differance in her is amazing in the past month, so being arrested, I believe, has saved her life, and her children's as well.

I guess we where lucky that she was arrested before she killed herself, or someone else.
In order for her to get her kids back, she will have to get her legal stuff fixed, and get clean!

Thank you all for your comments, I will let you know how it works out!

Consequences can be good
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Bev,

Thanks so much for the update. I'm so very sorry your daughter has been arrested and lost her children, but I couldn't agree more that it is likely the best thing that could have happened. Hopefully she will be able to say clean and earn the right to see her children and your help and support is VERY critical.

Please keep us updated and let us know how you are doing:)

Debbie

Adult daughter addicted prescription pain meds?
by: Carol

PLEASE Help!!!!!!!! My 42 yr/old daughter is addicted to prescription pain medications. She has been arrested and lost her job. She has 3 kids and a husband. She has lied, cheated, stolen, and God only know what else for these drugs. She will not listen to me, her husband and no one else about going to rehab. She is putting her kids in great danger. She is driving and goes to sleep at the wheel. What can I do????

Consider an intervention!
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Carol,

What a horrific circumstance you, and your daughter's family are in. I would recommend that everyone who loves your daughter come together and create a plan for an intervention. Addiction treatment centers often have trained interventionists on staff who can help you to plan a successful intervention for your daughter.

To find good addiction treatment centers in your area, go to your doctor or local hospital and ask them to refer you to a treatment center that they recommend. Then call the rehab and as for their assistance to help to get your daughter into rehab.

Once your daughter is in rehab, you need to learn the language of motivation and encouragement as she moves from denial to recovery. Please consider going to local Al-anon meetings to get the information and support you need to help your daughter through her long journey to sobriety.

We're also offering courses teaching you HOW to effectively communicate with your daughter to help her to move out of this awful disease. Go to the bottom of this web page to see how you can enroll in these classes. Getting her into rehab is just the very beginning of the process, and she will need your love and support throughout everything that she is about to go through.

Good luck,

Debbie Wicker

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