Help A Mother Dealing With A Daughters Addiction

I Need HELP! I've Got A 28yr Old Daughter That Is Fighting Addiction Everyday & She Is Working & Attending Meetings...But She Has A Problem Cussing Me Out & Lying To Me & I'm Still Here For Her.

I Don't Give Her Money Or Anything I'm Just Trying To Help & Show Her How To Save Her Money But She Will Not Let Me.....

I Need Some Advice Please Do I Leave Her Alone & Not Talk To Her & Stop Taking Her Back And Forth To Work?....I Don't Charge Her A Dime To Drive Her 55 Mins Away & All She's Doing Is Pushing Me Away & I Need Some Advice On What To Do If You Can Help?

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You may be in an abusive relationship
by: Debbie Wicker

You're in a difficult position with your daughter. On the one hand you are desperately trying to help her to get sober and end her drug addiction. On the other hand she is rude, ungrateful and abusive to you, regardless of what you do for her.

My experience with this with the patients I counsel is that you need to try to set positive boundaries with your daughter. One way to do this is to tell her that if she is abusive to you, you're not going to drive her to work the day following her abusive behavior.

Then when she becomes abusive, withdraw from the situation as quickly as you can and text/call and tell her that you're not going to drive her the next day. If she gets abusive again don't drive her until she is treating you correctly. When she stops being abusive then you can begin driving her again.

Setting boundaries can help your daughter to learn what is appropriate behavior and what is not. This will also help her to understand the 12 steps she is learning about in her meetings.
She should review Step 10:

Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

Good Luck!

Dtr addiction
by: Anonymous

I hate dealing with my Dtr morphine addiction and continued lying and neglect of her child. I don't like who she has become. Is there any hope she will ever be normal?

Is she working the 12 steps?
by: Debbie Wicker

The short answer is yes your daughter can return back to the person she used to be before the morphine addiction. Based on the current research about 30% of opiate (morphine is an opiate) addicts recover and are able to lead a normal life. Sadly, that means that 70% don't recover from their addiction and it's a fatal disease.

Is your daughter taking the corrective steps necessary to be one of the survivors? Does she go to meeting for NA or AA regularly and is she working the 12 steps? If she isn't then her odds of ever being normal are not good.

My question for you is what steps are you taking to help yourself and to help your daughter? I HIGHLY recommend you begin attending Al-anon meetings THIS WEEK!

I recommend that you go to at least THREE meeting a week and begin to work the 12 steps yourself. Also, try to find a sponsor who has been through what you are experiencing and then listen to your sponsor.

Once you start going to meetings and learning about addiction and how to help your daughter, research shows that she is MUCH more likely to go to meetings too!

If you can get your daughter to start REALLY working the 12 steps she can recover and be the mother and daughter that she should be.

Good Luck!


The benefits of al- anon
by: Anonymous

I am a mother, my grandmother is an addict in recovery . Al-anon will help you learn to stop enabling her. Stop doing for her what she needs to do herself. Make small steps if you must but you need to care for yourself. Her verbal abuse will stop after you learn to take care of yourself. Be an example!

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- Matthew 7:7-8


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