Here I am again?
by John
Hello, here I am again and really don’t know which way to turn. About 3 years ago while I was living in Phoenix AZ., I was so depressed I tried taking my own life with a large amount of drugs. The result was two months in the hospital and a little over 3 months in a nursing home.
After getting out of the nursing home I checked into a rehab called the maverick house, at the time I was on AHCCCS – mercy care, and it only paid for a month of the program. At the end of the month I told my consular that I wasn’t ready to leave the program, but he insisted that I was. After that I went back to work against my doctors orders, working on tractor, trailers.
The result of this did more damage to my body and I was unable to keep up. So I quit my job and got back on AHCCCS and filed for s.s.i. disability.
At this point of my life I thought I had every thing worked out, I was taking Zoloft for my depression and pain meds for my pain and had 2
surgeries lined up, one for my knee and the other was for my drop foot. That is when I got my disability and AHCCCS dropped me, they said I was making too much money, and did not get the surgeries that I needed. With no insurance I stated to buy my pain meds off the street and started drinking. I moved back to Florida just a few days before the first of this year.
This is the 4th month in a row that I wasted my whole check on drugs, last month I didn’t pay my phone bill for the first time in 2 years and this month I didn’t pay any of my bills, my computer will be off in just a few days and more than likely I’ll be homeless at the end of the week. June 1st is when I start medicare.
As of right now depression is getting so bad deal with, I really don’t know which way I should turn, I am tired and PLEASE I am asking for help.
John
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Do not give up
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Here I am again?
Dear John, Don’t give up. Please go to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting or a Narcotics Anonymous meeting in your area. You can find meetings in your area on the internet. There you will meet others in the same or similar circumstance as yourself. Personally, I believe that the best help you can get is from God. It seems to me that, although you have had some very rough times, God has kept you alive for some reason and you have a purpose here on earth. I believe the same for my son who has been abusing drugs and alcohol for 13 years. There were times he overdosed and could have died or times he had car accidents and could have died. He is now in jail for DUI and some other charges. He says he is REALLY sick of the life he has been living and wants to change. He was instrumental in getting an AA meeting started in the jail that he is at. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! Please – continue to seek help and also, if you believe in it, pray to God for help. I give every day over to God and it is working for me. I also attend Al Anon meetings (for friends and families of alcoholics and drug addicts) and that helps me immensely, and I have other support. Thanks for writing and I will say a prayer for you-Lynette |
