by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Jannet,

I’m so very sorry that your son is struggling with addiction. Many people believe that marijuana and Xanax are fine and don’t realize that they are very addictive and harmful especially when both are being abused.

Drug addiction is a disease of the brain and addiction often changes our personality convincing us that we have no problems and that drugs are GOOD for us. Because drugs attack our brain we can be in denial about our problems for years and truly not see how harmful the drugs really are. Sadly, it sounds like this is where your son is at.

When the brain is being controlled by drugs, it can be VERY difficult to convince the addict to get the help for their addiction that they need.

That’s where the term “tough love” comes in. It is so difficult to watch our children struggle and suffer, but with addiction it is often necessary to do in order for them to break the denial.

I HIGHLY recommend that you and your husband join Al-anon immediately and learn as much as you can about drug and alcohol addiction. When you attend meetings you should work the 12 steps and find a sponsor who has helped their child through drug addiction.

Al-anon will help you set proper boundaries with your son so that you can continue to love your son but “HATE” his addiction. You’ll learn how to avoid enabling his drug abuse in any way so that hopefully he can move past this and live a happy joyous and free life.

Good Luck,

Debbie