I never dreamt my life would take such a drastic turn.

by adrienne


I’m a very young, single, mother of 2. I was in beauty college when I had my first experience with pain killers.

I never thought of myself as an individual who would do drugs..or someone who could become an addict. I was married for 2 yrs to an alcoholic and it ruined our marriage as a result.

We had been divorced for over a year when I started falling into a deep depression. I lived on my own in a small apartment and on the weekends when my son went with my ex-husband, I went out with my close friends.

None of them were “druggies”. I’m not even really sure why any of us starting experimenting taking pills. I think we were all going through a really hard time in our lives and we thought “what the hell, why not try something to take the edge off?” other than our occasional drinking.

I loved the euphoric feeling opiates gave me. I had a lot of insecurities that I didn’t have when I took them. It seemed to mask my problems.

I bought them wherever I could get them from people I knew and it quickly escalated into a bit of a habit. Though it wasn’t something I couldn’t stop if i felt the need.

Now, when I remember that thought going through my head, I wish I would have listened. I wasn’t stupid and I knew they were very easy to become addicted to. Still, I continued to take them since they seemed like the only thing that comforted me.

Then, in the spring of the following year, during the few months I was seeing a guy I knew, I found out I was pregnant. I knew all the pills I was consuming couldn’t be good, considering I was pregnant and I slowed down to nearly nothing.

Although, I didn’t accept being pregnant and knew it was the last thing i needed at this time in my life, I dealt w it as best as I could and made an appointment with my ob/gyn.

The pregnancy was grueling and the longest 9 months of my life. I had morning sickness almost everyday until my 7 or 8 month. I had also withdrawn from beauty college due to this. In march, my daughter was born, healthy and perfect.

We went home after 2 days and went back to our normal schedule. When she was just 3 weeks though, I came down with severe mastitis and was put on some pretty strong pain meds for the pain.

Once again, the addiction crept up on me. And everyday since then has been a struggle. I’ve relapsed several times, endured terrible withdrawals, and it has eaten me alive ever since.

It has completely taken over my life. My daughter is now 8 months old and I’m on my second day of detox. I know, doesn’t sound very promising but if possible, I need to overcome this problem. If not for me, for my kids. I never once saw my life heading in this direction.


by: bobby

Hey it gets better yenno its gotta get dark before the sun comes out or somethin like that.. I’ve been there done that it gets better!

I never dreamt my life…

by: Lynette

Hi Adrienne,

I definitely agree with Ned’s comments.

I am a recovering alcoholic and I also used pot quite a lot. I have not used either for 25 years. When I had my son I knew I had to stop so I could be a good mother. Trying on my own did not work.

I went to my medical doctor and he helped me get started. I went to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and they helped me immensely – meeting other people with the same or similar problems.

The honestly and openness I found in the meetings was helpful and very refreshing to see.

I also started seeing a drug and alcohol counselor who helped me a lot, too.

I highly recommend that you get the same help and, as well, perhaps, speaking to a clergy, as I do now.

Giving things over to my higher power is the BEST thing I can do for myself. I am always working on that but when I do it it always helps a lot.

I am so glad that you are getting help and I will pray for you and your daughter.

Good luck-Lynette

The Right Direction

by: Ned Wicker

You know you have the problem and you are taking action. This is very good. I congratulate you and encourage you to continue.

I get the impression you are in an out-patient opiate detox program, which can be every bit as effective, especially for those who have a strong desire to get better.

However, what concerns me is your detox program is not going to meet all of your needs.

Do they have a program for you, counselling and the like?

Do you attend meetings and do you have a support system?

Going alone is very difficult. It’s so easy to slip back into bad habits. Rehab isn’t just detox, it’s changing the way you live and look at life.

The real work is in breaking the cycle of addiction and being a part of a recovery community is important.

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