Love him why choose crack
by Tamaira
(Canada)
I knew J in high school and we used to hang out. We lost contact and in January last year, we reconnected.
Everything was going good and I love him so much, I truly believe he is my first true love, he is very kind and considerate.
He has gotten better since our relationship has grown closer and deeper. I say better because he has stopped disappearing for days, and he stopped spending all his paychecks and not missing work.
So for this, I am extremely proud and know he can do it. What I continue to have a hard time with, is every time he gets money, that’s what he goes and does.
He makes a phone call for a small treat as he calls it. Then he disappears and comes back. He tells me its going to stop not to give up he needs me to help him through.
But the last couple times now, he has promised to not touch it for 5 days and he lied to me a few times now. I am so confused and upset, here he says he loves me so much and he wants to stop, but he tells me he’s going to bed and when i leave for home, (sensed something up), drive back he is gone.
Comes back as I’m sitting there he gets out of truck smiling, “Hi baby” he says to me like nothing ever happened. I just don’t know what to do I love him immensely and I believe he loves me the same, but why does he hurt me so badly?
I just don’t understand it at all. Please give me some guidance and ideas what to do… I’m lost.
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One Way Ride
He, on the other hand, desires a relationship with his drug of choice. How quickly his priorities change when he has his paycheck. You have become an accessory. He tells you he?s going to quick, but he lies to you. You are proud of him and you believe he is your true love. Girl, you are going for a very bumpy ride. He says he needs you to help him through, but his behavior isn?t going to change unless he breaks the cycle of addiction. He needs to go into treatment and if you are at all important to him, he will choose the relationship with you over his drug habit. Don?t take my word for it. Put it to the test. Force the issue with him and put your foot down. It?s you or the drugs. Does he have family that can team with you and help? He has to make a choice for his life– it?s you or drugs. Of course, you can enable him and just go along with it, but the relationship will be one way. Addiction is completely self-centered, manipulative and deceiving. His diseased mind is constantly thinking about getting a ?treat? and there?s no room for you in that pursuit. But you can be a friend. Get yourself some support. Al-Anon is an excellent organization for helping people just like you and believe me, they understand what you are going through. If you love this guy, you need to act in his best interest. He won?t, because addiction is a downward cycle. Once the addiction has a full grip on him, he?s a slave. Make the call, get some help and hopefully he will respond and get treatment. Take care of yourself. |