My son’s father addicted to drugs?

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My son’s father addicted to drugs?

by Amber


My ex has a drug abuse problem. I know he is addicted to pain killers and uses other drugs such as meth and things like that.

His drug abuse started about 7 years ago with Loratabs. I became pregnant with our son who is now 5. I left his father when he was 2 months old because of his addiction and I had hopes that he would get help and we could work things out.

Now he is behind over $12,000 in child support and recently stole my son’s Nintendo and pawned it for money. I have taken him to court and he has gone to jail numerous times for child support. I have done this in hopes he will get clean and think about his actions.

Him and my son use to have a very close bond. I guess you could have called him a functioning addict. The last year he has missed school functions and sport games and practices. He has promised to take my son to the park or things like that and it never happened.

I have chosen to be honest with my son about his dad and his addiction. I don’t know if that is the right thing but it was what I decided. For years my son spent time with him on weekends, while his parents were the ones in charge and who my son stayed with on weekends.

After his dad stole from him and we had court and he could not stop “nodding” in and out during that I have refused to send my son on weekends. I’m very worried my son will get hurt or be scared with my ex this bad and noticeable on drugs.

I have begged my ex to get help! Even offered to drop back child support if he would just try. Nothing has worked. He won’t even admit he uses drugs at all!

I’m worried about my son and this being too much on his tiny shoulders. I try to keep him very busy and active but he has to be effected by this??

What should I do to help my son? Also my feelings are very random and scattered on his dad. I’m mad he doesn’t even call or text to ask about our son and I’m hurt he has gotten to this point. Is it even possible for me to let go over my anger and hate for him and his life choices?

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Right Choices

by: Ned Wicker

Dear Amber,

I share your concern for the safety of your child and from what you have described, I would not trust his father either.

Your ex has to learn and sometimes people need to learn the hard way. He has chosen to deny his drug problem, he has chosen not to get help, he chosen to steal his own son’s computer game, he has chosen to not pay his child support and he has chosen to soil his relationship with his son. It’s time to wake up and smell the coffee.

You’re doing the right thing. Continuing visitation is only going to put your son in jeopardy. You’ve made the right decision to stop those. That’s a consequence of his drug use. Your son deserves to have a dad who loves him, who is responsible and who is a law-abiding citizen. He has none of that now. The record here speaks for itself.
If your ex decides to get treatment and clean up his act, then maybe he can resume seeing his son. But in the meantime, keep your distance.

in the same boat

by: blessedmommy33

I am going thru a similar situation. i was married for 4 years to an addict, it started with pain killers than cocaine and when i finally decided to leave he was injecting heroin. my marriage was destroyed and I too was living abuse..mainly verbal emotional and mental.

We have a 3 year old son together and i thought if i walked out it would somehow force him to want to stop…i fooled myself. I just found out from his own mouth that he is hooked on meth clibic. i have it in text and locked it.

I too fear for my baby and yet at the same time am heart broken cuz he adores his dad and i hate that i have to take him away from his dad but im a mother before anything else. luckily i have the messages were he admits his addictions…i was even told to call dyfs when he has him and they will investigate. my advice is try to get ur ex to fess up in text or something to his addiction and keep a log of any and all incidences. ill pray for ur situation..plz pray for mine

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