Offering hope, calling for help
My name is Maya. I have been addicted to food, sugar, drugs, TV, love, and shopping just to name a few.
I have come full circle. I have had my go at all these things, and none of them are it. Not one of these things will bring me the happiness and lasting peace I'm looking for.
In fact, most lead me further away from home. How can I come from a messed up mind to a calm and serene mind? When I find the answer to that, my dream is to help others with their pain and suffering. But I need to find the way first.
After 20 years of one addition to another. I just fell hard with an opiate and it scared me. I am now convinced that I need to spend some time in a structured and comprehensive therapeutic program, if I am to live the life, I feel, I was born to live. I cannot, and will not settle.
Deep in my heart I am not fooled by my trickery, and know when I'm not really living the passionate life I dreamed. For many years I would hide behind my addictions and some wouldn't get me into trouble.
For example, when I'm addicted to TV, I can pretend it's OK. I can come home and turn on the TV and escape from the rest of the world. Escape from my inner longing for a deeper and more passionate sense of being alive. It's not like TV is bad, but when it's overused is when it becomes a problem and unleashes even more addictions, like sugar and food.
I am opening myself up to the world for everyone to see and judge me. If I can reach just one person, let them see that they are not alone, and keep them from giving up on themselves, then all of this is worth it. I want to come clean to the whole world, and say "I have a problem, and I need help". There is something so powerful in that statement.
I reach out to all those that can relate to this letter to find that strength with-in and swallow that pride, and start their healing process. We are supposed to be here for each other. We're not meant to do this on our own.
Maya and her family are asking anyone who can and is so moved to send whatever amount of donation that feels right to the Hawaii Naturopathic Retreat Center, 17-502 Ipuaiwaha, Keaau, Hawaii 96749 and designate that it be put into a fund for Maya Walker's stay there.
Thank you and Blessings!!