Saving My Family.

by jen S
(california, usa)

My husband of almost 13yrs and father to 3 beautiful girls, ages 12, 11, and 5yrs Has been a Meth addict for 4yrs.

I am so mad, so frustrated and so tired. I cry when I think about our family's future, my girls. Every time after our fights he acts like everything is normal, he tries to hide everything from seeing his "friends" and having money.

I've banned his "friends" from coming over because before they were hanging out at our home for hours everyday and until wee hours doing their Meth session, one of them is actually the dealer and he was dealing drugs at our home in the garage. I have never really researched what I was dealing with until few months ago when he spends almost all day in the garage with his "friends", I kept asking him to spend some time with us or at least with the girls.

From my research I found out that I am a codependent, I already have health issues but I started neglecting me and my kids to try to keep this family together. I have read somewhere to be not a codependent is to cut ties, BE STRONG.

During our recent fight I gave him 3 months to find a job to get on his feet or be told to move out. He got laid off work more than a year ago and is scared of doing the physical employers require because of the drug testing. he said why wait 3 months when he can leave now, which I said yes he can.

He's still at home. I still love him but I cannot take care of a person who will have psychological problems later on. One of his brothers already has it because of drugs.

I don't want my girls to see their dad slowly losing himself, and I want my girls to not lose respect for him. I want to see my girls to walk down the aisle with their dad.

I don't know what to do, I want to talk to him but he turns into Mr. Hyde when drug related issues comes up. Part of me wants him to leave and the other part wants to stay and help him get over his demon.

Comments for Saving My Family.

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Hard choices
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Jen,

Your story is deeply sad and very powerful at the same time. Meth addiction has changed your husband into a different person. Jekyll and Hyde is an excellent description of the negative effects of Meth is causing in your husband.

Somehow your husband has to agree that the Meth is destroying his family and his mental health. Every person/addict is different and there is no magic formula to get him into treatment and to agree to stop using.

Your love and the love of your children may be his last lifeline to get the help he needs to stop. Generally, he will not be able to stop on his own. He probably has already tried and realizes he is completely in the control of the drug and, on his own, can't do anything about it.

You must stop enabling him, but, if possible, continue to love him. You need to try to love him but never in anyway support his drug use. Not with money, a place to use, covering up for him or in anyway buffering him from the very negative consequences he should be experiencing because of his use of an illegal drug.

I would recommend you join Al-anon right away and find a good meeting with people who have been where you are now. Also, call your doctor and ask for his/her advice. Have them to advise you where a good treatment program is in your area. You may also want to find a Celebrate Recovery program at a local church. Spiritual reconnection can be very useful as you walk down this difficult road.

Consider requiring your husband to go to AA or NA meetings DAILY if he wants to continue to live in the house.

Finally, protect your children, his "friends" are likely capable of ANYTHING and you need to keep your children from ever having ANY contact with them.

Good Luck, and may God Bless you and your family,


Saving your family!
by: jesse

I'm a father of 8, love my kids and wife....I've also battled with meth addiction all my life ....recently almost killed 5 of my kids cause of seat belts. Tire blew out I wasn't high...but 3 children were ejected I am alive only for God's work....

I don't know your husband, I'm 36 I only know me as an addict for 20years I only loved me!!! Hard to say but true ...if he loves u and the girls u would come before him....if u love the girls they would come before him???? Your responsibility is too Your babies!

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