Should I let him come back?

by Christina

My husband has been addicted to heroin for quite awhile, I have been in denial it has ruined our life and all
our finances are gone as a result.

Our family is torn apart over the turmoil that has been going on for over a year he is now in a recovery center but I think just to detox he will now give consent to any of his drs or nurses to give me information.

I am really lost and don’t know what to do.

Would it be best if I don’t let him come back into the home?

Boundaries Are Important

by: Ned Wicker

It is good that your husband is in detox, but that is only the beginning of the process. He is an addict and without treatment, followed by a solid recovery program, he will go back to using.

Detox is good, but it is not enough. Your husband’s life has to change dramatically. If it doesn’t, there is no room for you and you will have nothing to look forward to. He has destroyed everything and believe me, he’ll do it again.

You need to set the rules and boundaries of your marriage and stick to them. He will tell you anything you want to hear, but now he has to prove it. His actions will speak the loudest. Be smart and don’t let your emotions rule your decisions.

Should I let him come back?

by: Lynette


Hi Christina-
I definitely agree with Ned’s comments.

I am so sorry to hear about your difficulties. But, believe me, you are not alone! I strongly suggest that you go to Al Anon meetings (they talk about drug addiction, too). There you’ll meet others who have gone through the same or similar things as you.

I am a recovering alcoholic. I stopped drinking 25 years ago. Also, my son is a drug addict. He is 27 years old and his years of using have taken a toll on our family. Through Al Anon I am finally learning that I have to take care of myself. I also have to stop helping him until he can prove that he is clean for quite a long time. He has stolen from me and lied to me. It hurts a lot, I’m sure you know. But, I give every day over to God and it is working. It seems like everyone has problems but this disease is a family disease – it affects your whole family. I love my son but I am working on a something new – detaching from him with love. No more helping him, bailing him out, rescuing him, etc., and as I said, taking care of myself and doing things for myself.

Good luck and I’ll pray for your and your husband.-Lynette

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