Son Out of Control, please help!

I have a 20 year old son that up until recently thought all he did was smoke pot, and drink a few beers and over the last several months, maybe longer, his behavior is getting out of control.

He doesn’t have a job, bounces from one worthless friend to another, calls for money all the time and his violent outburst are becoming more frequent and scary.

He paces like a caged animal all the time and if he doesn’t get what he
wants when he wants it, he has a temper tantrum like a small child and throws things, smashes things, slams things, etc….of course this behavior is not allowed in the our home.

Now he is homeless and my dad has brought him into our home because we didn’t believe in him living on the streets but I am very concerned and the more he is around and the more his behavior escalates I am realizing this is way bigger any of us can fix on our own……

I am scared, lost and just flat out don’t know what to do.

He not only has an alcohol problem, it’s obvious he may have a severe drug problem to go with that (beyond pot).

Just a couple years ago he got his braces off, his teeth were white and straight and just a few weeks ago I saw his teeth and the tops against the gums are a funny color, kind of grayish and they look like they have dents runs across the middle of his top teeth and his breath smells like decay gum disease.

I don’t know what to do, I have no money to pay for care or rehab or anything, but he desperately needs help, his behavior and the substance abuse has already caused problems with getting tickets for minor in possession or held in jail because he was so intoxicated that he was combative or found passed out on the side of the road and taken to the ER.

Can someone help me, I don’t know what to do anymore.


The Whole Family Is Addicted

by: Ned Wicker

Dear Trina,

When a person is caught in the grasp of addiction nothing but the drugs matter.

There are no career aspirations, no meaningful relationships, no family life and no purpose.

There is only the intense desire to get high. Your son needs treatment. As long as he can live rent free, get fed and have no responsibilities to himself, to his family or to his community, he will continue to use and likely never get better.

Your description sounds an awful lot like meth addiction, but regardless, his behavior is excessively destructive.

Your family needs to formulate a plan to get him into treatment and you all need to stick together. Go to Al-Anon or Narcotics Anonymous, or Alcoholics Anonymous and seek professional help.

A local hospital or treatment center is an excellent resource. But you need help, all of you, not just your brother. An interventionist is a good choice. Do not let your son use you, rather get him help.

His behavior has to end.

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