by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Hart,

The frustration you’re feeling is really hard for me to fathom. You’ve already done so much for your husband, but he is still caught in the clutches of his addiction. Drug addiction attacks the brain and is often characterized by many relapses before we hit bottom and finally realize that we have to quit.

As a counselor, the only addicts that I’ve seen successfully quit go to 12 step meetings daily and work on their sobriety on day at a time. I worked with a woman who has been sober for 25 years and she knows that she will relapse unless she is constantly working her 12 step program.

If she could talk to you she would tell you that the 12 steps are the only program that has allowed her to stay sober and to live her life as she chooses. When she is using she is a slave to the drugs and they control EVERY aspect of her life.

Your love for your husband may be the only thing that he has that will keep him a live and stop him from the fatal consequences of his addiction. You need to love him but hate his addiction and make the best decisions possible to help him to get over this relapse and return to the man that you love and that he wants to be.

I would recommend that you immediately start going to Al-anon and working the 12 steps and then decide the best course of action to get your husband to start working the 12 step program too.

As you begin working the steps and going to Al-anon you should find a sponsor who has been where your at and can help you to make the day to day decisions necessary to get your husband the treatment and support he needs.

I believe your husband must go to meetings DAILY for 90 days and then work the steps for the next few years in order to learn the coping skills he needs to avoid using. If you husband is not going to meetings and working the steps you should assume he is using.

Please go to Al-anon allow them to help you to help your husband,

Debbie