My wife has been sober for 30 months. She has always threatened divorce for years. It hurt me to breakup the family and hurt the kids.

The last time i said fine and she pursued but stopped. She broke down in tears and confessed she had issues. She has a sponsor that probably lent her the money for an attorney.

Now since rescinding the divorce she’s quiet but says she loves me etc. She seems troubled. I was going to divorce her because of all this chaos but God put an end to it by me loosing my job. He obviously has something in store or was trying to show me something.

I am struggling for affection but not getting it. She’s seeing a councelor for herself. I’m getting credit card apps in her name, all denied. Her bank is bouncing checks and she is constantly overdrawn.

It’s hurting the family with me out of work and her needing to contribute but can’t ever. She lies about a lot especially about money.

I am a three year member of alanon and just confused. She has been labeled a dry drunk. She tells everyone the program is fine and it’s her program. I agree but it affects the whole family.

Her car is in chaos her life is in chaos. She’s unhappy with everything and wants to change everything.

Hidden Issues

by: Ned Wicker

The most difficult of the 12 Steps is admitting you have a problem, then understand that there is that power greater than yourself out there that can help and finally allowing God, as you understand God, to take control and help.

A dry drunk just isn’t drinking, and so the heavy lifting part of the treatment program is left untouched. The steps are beautiful and brilliant, because they expose the inner chasms of the human condition and allow us to navigate through the pain and find solutions and peace.

You wife is at war with herself and in pain. It’s good that she’s seeing a counselor, but something tells me that AA meetings might be more effective.

I hope you can weather the storm and get your wife back.

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