Will my husband ever love me more than than his addiction?

by Jessica
(Ball, Louisiana)

I have been with my husband for 5 years married for 2 this March. A year after dating I found out that he had started using meth again, yes again he had told me that he had had a drug problem before but had been clean for almost 2 years, so it was a shock to find out that he was using again.

I felt so hurt I threatened to kick him out but he begged and cried and promised he would stop. And he would stop..... for very short periods of time. Then the fights started.

I have been accused of everything you can think of from cheating to lying or that I'm the one on drugs, none are which are true. I have left so many times but I always go back because I do love him with all my heart and I don't ever want to give up hope for him and our marriage. But at the same time I don't know what else to do because not only am I dealing with his addiction he has become abusive at times both physically and mentally.

My life feels like a crazy dream I am so saddened by his addiction it has taken everything from him. He is such a good person and will always go out of his way to help anyone but he treats me like a doormat,and even though I'm married I feel so alone!!!!!

I feel like I get his left overs when it comes to spending time with me because now he is using so much he is up for days at a time until he finally crashes or when he doesn't use during the week he comes strait in from work and passes out until I wake him up to eat and he gets up eats and takes a bath and crashes again, but to be perfectly honest it's better than him being high starting fights with me and staying outside reorganizing his tools or what ever else he finds more important than going to bed with his wife that's the only time I can really sleep.

I miss the man I fell in love with:(:(:(. As of right now I have left my husband with hopes that he will get help.

Comments for Will my husband ever love me more than than his addiction?

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Meth addiction often changes people and causes severe mental health issues.
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Jessica,

The short answer is yes it is possible that once your husband stops using meth and fully recovers from him addiction he will be able to love you more than his addiction. But not right now.

Meth addiction attacks the brain and often causes very disturbing psychological issues. Meth can cause psychosis and you need to protect yourself from your husband until he stops using.

I would highly recommend that you start attending Al-anon meetings in your area at least three times a week. At Al-anon you should get the support you need to not only help yourself but also to help your husband.

Addiction is a progressive disease and if left untreated is often fatal. So you must go to Al-anon and try everything possible to get your husband the addiction treatment he needs.

Ask the people at Al-anon where to take your husband for treatment. The amount you describe that he's using is VERY dangerous for him so you must try to intervene on his behalf if you can.

Often treatment centers have interventionists that can help you convince him to go into treatment. As a last resort you can also call the police and have him put in jail where he can't use. Hopefully, once he's clean he'll realize that you saved his life and return to the person you married.

Good Luck,

Debbie

Re: addicted husband
by: Anonymous

Having had to watch my brother who was addicted to pain killers for over 28 years, and having lost him to an overdose on 1/13/2015, only a few days ago, I can tell you that an addict is a master at diverting any attention or confrontation regarding their abuse of drugs to whoever is standing in front of them. It is always someone else's fault.

I don't know how old you are, but if you are at the beginning of your husband's addition perhaps a treatment program can aid.

If he refuses to get help, as hard as it might be, you should leave. Had my sister-in-law left my brother years ago, he might have been shocked into ending his addition. Instead she stayed because she loved him, but my brother chose his drugs over love for her, love for his three daughters, love for his grandchildren, love for a career he loved, and love for anything and everything he once had in his life.

For 28 years every member of my family has gone through hell with sometimes weekly overdoses and the constant fear of his death. He has died and I comfort myself that he is finally at peace. I wish you luck, but if I can help someone not have to suffer what my family suffered, then my brother's death will mean something. Much Love!


So confused!!!! Am i doing the right thing by staying gone?
by: Jessica

Just a little up date to my situation. well I have been gone for a few days shy of a month and it is killing me!!! I broke down and went and saw him last Wednesday and I have been trying to keep myself available so he can feel he has someone to talk to.

I think he is thinking irrationally he is still saying that when I leave that its not helping our marriage I can't get him to understand the reason I left is because of his addiction and what it has turned him into.

I honestly think he has developed mental illness problems due to his drug use and that scares me because he talks really crazy stuff, he is so angry. I just don't know what to do anymore he has said he has nothing to live for or get sober for because I'm gone and that scares me.

I called 911 the other night because he was so depressed screaming and cussing the whole world and GOD saying that he was going to kill himself. I don't think I could live with myself if he did, I love my husband with all my heart I just want him to get sober!!

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