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Al-AnonAddiction and Alcoholism Questions What is Al-Anon? We offer the following directly from: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/english.html Addiction and Alcoholism Questions: For over 50 years, Al Anon (which includes Alateen for younger members) has been offering hope and help to families and friends of alcoholics. It is estimated that each alcoholic affects the lives of at least four other people... alcoholism is truly a family disease. No matter what relationship you have with an alcoholic, whether they are still drinking or not, all who have been affected by someone else’s drinking can find solutions that lead to serenity in the Al Anon/Alateen fellowship. How can Al Anon help me? Many who come to Al-Anon/Alateen are in despair, feeling hopeless, unable to believe that things can ever change. We want our lives to be different, but nothing we have done has brought about change. We all come to Al-Anon because we want and need help. In Al-Anon and Alateen, members share their own experience, strength, and hope with each other. You will meet others who share your feelings and frustrations, if not your exact situation. We come together to learn a better way of life, to find happiness whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not. PSYCHIATRIST RECOMMENDS Drug Addiction Al Anon Note: The professional opinions expressed here are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect the opinion of Al Anon Family Groups. Al Anon does not endorse, support, or oppose outside entities, opinions, or issues. By Jeffrey D. Roth, MD, FASAM “As an addiction psychiatrist, I am grateful to have Al Anon available for my patients who have been affected by anyone’s use of alcohol. I recommend it whenever I see a patient who complains of anxiety, depression, or a variety of physical problems that are commonly worsened by close contact with the disease of alcoholism. “I do a complete family history with anyone I am treating. I specifically ask about alcohol use in grandparents, parents, husband/wifes, siblings, children, grandchildren, and significant others. I also ask about other diseases that often thinly veil alcoholism, such as cirrhosis, pancreatitis, or other medical consequences of alcoholism, since the patient and the family frequently deny the alcoholism. “I do not insist that the patient or I make a clear connection between the patient’s complaints and the presence of alcoholism. I suggest, Roth continues, “the patient use their groups as part of the diagnostic process and I use the familiar recommendation that the person may decide after attending six meetings whether the program seems to be useful. “Frequently the most useful information emerges from the patient’s reactions to the Al-Anon meetings, Roth observes. A feeling of not belonging is usually connected to the sense of estrangement that is common among alcoholic families. If the patient felt burdened by listening to others at a meeting, it is a telltale sign that this person assumes overwhelming responsibility for someone else’s behavior. “I have seen incredible progress among my patients who use Al-Anon as part of their recovery process. A new sense of well-being, the ability to participate fully in intimate relationships, and an improved quality of work and satisfaction in a career are evidence of growth and change. I have also witnessed patients who start their recovery in Al-Anon and expand their recovery to include other areas of their life. I’ve also seen patients who are recovering from other difficulties, including their own alcoholism, enhance their progress by participating in Al-Anon. “As a physician, I know of no other prescription with such magnificent benefits, with so few side effects, without any required cost. Al-Anon is available almost anywhere in the world and with the advent of on-line Al-Anon meetings through the Internet. One other selfish benefit to the professional who refers patients to Al-Anon: we learn a tremendous amount of information that is useful to us from the patients who go!” Common Question that Al-Anon can try to help you with: My husband/wife is drinking all the time, but I don’t know if he/she is an alcoholic? The important point to focus on is the frequency of drinking. Drinking “all the time” is a red flag in this situation. However, that does not mean your husband/wife is an alcoholic. Your husband/wife may be abusing alcohol, which is a serious concern. In either case, you need to get your facts gathered and then you need to verify those facts and try to avoid making judgments or jumping to conclusions. “Drinking all the time” signifies a pattern of behavior. In so many cases, a person would rather admit to being mentally ill than admitting they can’t control their drinking. In the Spring 2007 edition of About AA, Dr. Marsha Epstein, of the Tucker Health Center in Los Angeles, said “No one is quick to admit to current problems with drugs or alcohol. When I was in private practice years ago, I saw about 2000 patients over four and a half years and NO ONE ever admitted current heavy drinking.” You can read by her thoughts that you may know there is a problem, but your husband/wife is not likely to agree with you. You are going to need some help. The reason I suggest documenting the behavior is to give a professional person the “lay of the land” so to speak, to facilitate their assessment. Dr. Epstein also says that people will readily talk about the drinking habits of another family member or friend, all the while not admitting to any problem of their own. There are techniques involved in helping a person open up and talk to a therapist, but not everybody is going to know how to be a counselor and do professional assessments. Rather, partner with a professional to get the help your husband/wife needs. How can you know if your husband/wife is abusing alcohol or if he/she an alcoholic? The line might be a thin one, but in general, alcohol abuse is drinking to the point of negatively effecting health and personal relationships. They may have some problems at work. Alcoholism is when the person becomes dependent on alcohol. They develop a craving and will continue drinking no matter what happens to them. They may develop health problems, they may lose interest in their family and friends, and they need to drink more and more just to get the same effect. When they stop drinking, they need a drink. Again, you need a partner to help you. As the one closest to the person who is abusing alcohol or may already be an alcoholic, you need training and support. You can’t be therapist and husband/wife. It would be like a marriage counselor trying to help their husband/wife. Get a professional partner. Al-Anon was created for people in your situation, to help you get the support you need. There are local groups all over the country. Find a group in your area and allow that group to be your sounding board, your confidant and your source of support. Allow a professional alcohol counselor to do the heavy lifting in dealing with your husband/wife. You’re not alone.
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