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Seeking help with my son's cocaine addiction

by M
(Scotland)

I have a son who is 32 years and has an addiction to cocaine. He won't get help, and he has hallucinations plus he gets very paranoid.

Myself and his wife have been to the doctor about it and asked if we could get him sectioned (committed). He said no and that he wouldn't be able to help him because he would have to come and see him, which my son refuses to do.

We are very concerned because he is getting worse he is also started having panic attacks and won't admit that he has a problem.

I need to know what we can do?

Comments for Seeking help with my son's cocaine addiction

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Consider doing an intervention
by: Debbie Wicker

Based on what you've told me, your son has a worsening cocaine addiction. Paranoia is a common side effect of cocaine as are panic attacks. These symptoms are also caused by mental health issues such as severe depression or bi-polar disorder. If left untreated, these symptoms are likely to get much worse and can cause permanent emotional impairment.

Ask your doctor to recommend a good drug addiction treatment program and go and meet with them. Ask them to help you to do an intervention to try to get your son into treatment. Let them determine exactly how to approach the intervention and have everyone in the family do exactly what they say.

Because the treatment center is not emotionally attached to your son they will be more objective about which approach is likely to get your son into the treatment he needs.

Don't worry about whether or not he is angry with you, once he has moved out of his addiction he will thank you for saving his life.

Also, your family should join Al-anon in your local area. Al-anon can teach you how to love your son but avoid enabling his addiction in any way. Your son needs to feel the full impact of his drug use in order to understand that he must get treatment.


CA Scotland
by: James

Hello,

I can completely understand where you and your son are currently at. I am a recovering cocaine addict and I have tried everything to get clean but nothing worked until I joined Cocaine Anonymous where I have met some amazing people who are now a major part of my sober life and they have helped me to work the programme of the 12 steps.

I was a chronic user for 8 years (I am 23). Please go on the CA Scotland website or please give me a call if you would like to talk further. zero seven nine six one seven two six three six three.

Thanks

Son on drugs?
by: Anonymous

My son is a coke addict and lies about it?

Denial is often a HUGE issue for addicts to overcome.
by: Debbie Wicker

So very sorry that your son is addicted to cocaine and is having trouble admitting it. Many addicts have trouble facing their addiction to drugs, because often they feel like they can stop anytime they want and that they're in total control of their addiction. But sadly, any outside observer can see that they're not in control at all and that they are being controlled by their addiction.

Please consider going to Al-anon meetings to find the resources available to help your son. Al-anon is set up to help you to confidentially help your son get the treatment and support he needs to end his addiction.

Good luck, and please act time now, Because with addiction often there is no time to waste!

My son is a violent Coke addict!
by: Anonymous

My son is 24 and has a serious Coke habit, around £1000 a week. He has money from a injury payout, but this is rapidly disappearing. In fact I'll be glad when it's gone as he will not find money easily.

He binges for days on end, doesn't eat and can drink bottles of vodka at a time. He hallucinates, says we are vaporising him, he's violent and verbally abusive. He threatens and raises his hand at me, he smashes our house up, it just goes on and on.

I rang the police to remove him from my house and he just disappears before they arrive. I beg him to get help, I beg him to leave our house.

My brother was a heroine addict, overcame that and became a alcoholic. He was found dead at 29 years old and I was informed by a knock at the door from police. I was and still am devastated by this nearly 10 years later and now I'm watching my son do the same.

He knows how I feel and uses this against me. He knows my biggest fear and dread is that if I throw him out I will get that knock again but this time it will be him.

We've done turning point numerous times but all they do is talk about Coke which makes him want
more. Our gp is useless and uncaring. I can't physically make him do rehab, he admits he's addicted.

Him and his dad came to blows, our son collapsed with chest pains, ended up being rushed by ambulance to hospital and they told him 1 line off a major heart attack, but this has not even phased him. In fact he's uses even more.

I don't know what do anymore.

You're in a very dangerous situation and you need support for yourself and your husband.
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear My son is a violent Coke addict,

I'm so very sorry that you and your family find yourself in such an awful situation. Drug addiction is a disease of the brain and can cause mental illness.

The first suggestion I have for you is to begin going to Al-anon meetings in your area two or three times a week. At these meetings begin working the 12 steps so that you can gain a better understanding of your son's addiction. Also, find a sponsor that can help you to develop a plan to deal with you son's addiction.

As for your son, his violence is VERY dangerous for both of you so you need to be willing to call the police and have him arrested to protect yourself from him. Cocaine can cause psychotic episodes, which if they happen can be dangerous when he is violent.

Don't give up on getting the police involved even if they have been unresponsive to this point. My experience is that different officers handle situations differently. I would go to the police station and outline what's happening and ask for their support and advice.

Good luck,

Debbie

Home after a 48hr binge and £1200 gone
by: Anonymous

Thank you for replying.

He's returned home this morning after disappearing for 48 hours. He's spent £1200. Came home asking for more money which I refused. He's returned after he knows his dad has gone to work and knowing my 4 year old grandson was here, which he knows means I will struggle to stand up to him for fear if what he will do, manipulative is an understatement.

Consequently I rang his dad at work which I never do because I don't think he should have to think about or try to deal with while working long shifts. He told me to give him the last of it (his money that was in our bank) and give him it when he'd packed his bags and gone out of the house and then lock the doors.

He spoke to our son and told him that this was the only way he'd get his money and he'd to be gone when he returns from work tonight. I've got the money but on my return he was asleep. I dare not wake him up because in the past he turns on us when he's most violent and I now sat there like a nervous wreck, full of dread and fear of what is going to happen when his dad returns from work.

As much as I dread what is going to happen, this situation has to stop and that will only happen when he has nothing and nobody. We have tried everything, we've been understanding, sympathetic and given him more chances than he deserves. Deep down I know I will get that knock on the door again, but we can't help him anymore.

I hate this situation, I hate this life.

Can you call the police and have him arrested?
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear "Home after a 48hr binge and £1200 gone",

Can you call the police and say he needs to leave the house and that you're afraid of him? Have them come and wake him up and remove him from the house safely? Can you get a restraining order against him to protect yourself and your grandchild?

This is an extremely dangerous and volatile situation and I think you need police support to end it.

Good luck,

Debbie

My son is on cocaine?
by: Anonymous

My son is 30 and has had a cocaine habit for many years now..He split up with his partner because of his addiction...His ex said he put it before his kids. My grandchildren... so she went to court and they drug tested him and it was positive for cocaine... so he lost the right to see his kids.

He has shared houses with friends and been back and forward sleeping on my settee...as i only have a 2 bed house and live my my daughter who is so anti-drugs and smoking... my son has had lots of jobs and is now sleeping on my settee.

He lies about being paid from work and has a bad temper when i have a go at him about using cocaine... he says he doesn't use any more but we know that he does. He's lost a lot of weight and he doesn't buy new clothes. He's always asking for money for fags even though he works. He gets paid on Friday and his money is gone by Monday... he sleeps all day when not at work...he keeps sniffing like he has a cold.

I want him out but can't see him on the streets...he won't talk to me about it..because he won't admit he is using cocaine... his mate even said he was... i didn't speak to him for 5 months when he was flat sharing..but he is back on my sette...he lost his dad cause he owes him loads of money... I'm divorced.

Now my daughter is saying if he stays she's moving out..but she is a hard worker and hates what he does...there is a warrant out for his arrest over a driving fine he owes.

Also he should not be staying at mine because his ex and kids live on our estate and she has a injunction out and he's not suppose to be on our road.

If i call police to get him out...he will go to prison for 5 years straight away..don't know what to do... he is such a liar... but he is my son?

Son may be on a downward spiral of addiction.
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear "My son is on cocaine?",

I'm so very sorry you're in this tragic and difficult situation. Addiction is a disease that attacks the brain and often kills us if left untreated.

Based on the little bit that I know, I believe your daughter is right, no one can live with your son as he is. I do recommend that you call the police because going to prison would allow your son to become clean from drugs hopefully. Prison is often the treatment center of last choice for those who won't get treatment themselves.

If your son where to go to prison, you could visit him and help him to regain his life, which it sounds like he is losing to drugs. Prison may actually be his best hope for surviving this deadly and terrible disease.

I also recommend that you and your daughter begin going to Al-anon meetings ASAP, so that your can learn as much as possible about how to help your son but also how to protect yourself from his addiction at the same time.


Good Luck,

Debbie

Violent Coke addict
by: Anonymous

Hi,

I wrote that my son is a violent Coke addict.
He's now lost everything, girlfriend and the home they shared for 4 weeks and spent over 100k. He's back here, but does not come home when he's off his face.

We take no crap from him anymore and if he starts I ring the police. He's had fights with both his father and uncle. His sisters don't bother with him at all. I feel we are slowly making him realise that it's unacceptable behavior.

I thought about the prison option but in the UK spice is readily available in prison and I know 100% he'd just turn to that.

NAR-ANON FAMILY GROUPS
by: Anonymous

FRIENDS AND FAMILIES OF ADDICTS:

www.nar-anon.org

Please join us! If there are no meetings in your local, please join us online http://www.naranon.com/forum/

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