15 yr old heroin addict. My story.

by Vanessa


My name is Vanessa and I would like to share my story to hopefully be able to inspire others to get the help they need or to stay clean; People often times don’t take me seriously at NA/AA because compared to most people there I’m a baby and no one every understands I was up to about a bundle at the least a day(ten bags.) The way they treat me is understandable but quite frankly its very annoying.
Anyway, here is my story… I had a messed up childhood. Ever since I could remember my family was as messed up as I was; my dad was an abusive pill-head and alcoholic and would regularly beat the crap out of us. With a family member who is a fiend you also never have money for even the basic things, food, bills, etc.

Anyway, my mom finally got tired of the abuse and left my dad and got in a relationship with my dad’s best friend. Awful! So at 11 years old I moved in with my mom and her new boyfriend, going a year without talking to my dad. My mom then got sick from a rare disease called pulmonary fibrosis, which is basically lung cancer and slowly passed away.

I had nowhere to live and had to move in with my dad who I grew to hate and wanted nothing to do with. But I was homeless, what the heck are you supposed to do at age 12? Anyway, my dad lived with my brother who was also a pill-addict. I grew up idolizing the lifestyle and thought it was just what grownups do. Like most kids I only wanted to be grown up and mature and I wanted attention from my “family” so I started using pills at age fourteen and by age fifteen I had my first experience with heroin.

I had never felt anything so amazing, I knew as soon as I felt that heaviness in the back of my head and the complete happiness and relaxation that this was it. I loved heroin. I knew it was a hard drug but what the heck, it’s cheaper than oxys and I got twice as high.

So there you have it; I had become a fifteen year old heroin addict. One thing leads to another and I was booting up dope at age 15, reusing and sharing needles. I needed it everyday to feel normal, I needed it to be okay. And finally my family was paying attention to me, what I wanted more than anything my whole life.

My dad and brother begged me to get clean, but come on get clean for the same people that my whole life would never get clean for me? Forget that. Like you could imagine, a fifteen year old heroin addict has no job and definitely getting no money from my brother or dad so I did whatever I had to do so I wasn’t sick and I had my fix.

I would sell weed to kids at school (that’s all the kids at school would touch at the time.) but occasionally I would sell “coke” to kids at school, which would really be random stuff I found in my cupboard and since I knew they had never tried it and where only doing it to be cool I’d make money off them and they’d convince themselves they were high, it was the new thing for these retards and I was their dealer.

I’d also steal kids ipods, phones, money and whatever else I could get my hands on. Needless to say the pawnshop knew my name. I broke into a few houses and made away with 3 laptops, 2 tv’s and jewelry and a bunch of other stuff.

Luckily for me I only got arrested once for breaking and entering and possession of drug paraphernalia. Now I never fit in with kids my age, I always was with my brother (who is 5 yrs older than me.) and his friends who where the seniors in high school or already graduated so everyone always thought I was cool for it, meanwhile I was an idiot and throwing my life away.

But soon enough it wasn’t enough, You can only make so much off other high school age kids, and I soon started selling myself to older men for either dope or money to get dope. It was an everyday habit. I had regular customers and I would do whatever they wanted. Threesomes, Foursomes, didn’t matter. You can give me what I want; I’ll give you what you want. I always hated it and it was the only thing that I would do that I would feel bad for.

Numerous times it ended in a rape situation where I’d get my ass kicked and then get nothing out of it. At the time I really didn’t realize how bad I’ve let things become until one day I came home from picking up and the boy I was completely in love with, what friends I had left and my dad and brother where all sitting on the couch waiting for me, few of them where crying.

It was embarrassing and awkward for me, I looked like hell- hadn’t changed my clothes in a week, no makeup and unwashed hair and a black eye.. Not exactly how I wanted these specific people to see me. I knew what they were gonna say; they were going to sit and yell at me about how I need to clean up my act.

I was wrong. They cried and told me how young and beautiful I was and how much they cared for me and need me to get better before I’m dead. They told me that my dad was taking me to a detox center in Carmel NY, called Arms Akers. If I didn’t agree to get in the car and go right now that they would call the police and have them arrest me for being under the influence of a schedule one narcotic and I would violate probation right there.

I cried and tried to sympathize my way out of it and make myself seem less of a bad person so I wouldn’t have to go- didn’t work. To Arms Akers I went. Not going to talk about the detoxing part- It was hell. That’s it, indescribable pain and misery. Wouldn’t wish it on anyone in this world.

I came home and I really didn’t know if I had the strength to be clean living with two other fiends and living in the same small town where I had such a bad reputation and so many triggers and memories that would make me relapse, I wanted sobriety so bad. Not only wanted it but needed it.

So luckily for me I have family in Virginia. My aunt down there called me and said she talked to my father and wanted me to know if she could fly me out for a few weeks to get away. Of course I went, I needed to get away and be happy. Sobriety is beautiful and I knew it. I went, I loved it. Nobody knew me I was a normal girl again.

She offered to let me move in under one condition; I went back to school and graduated. Only missing one year of school I agreed. That’s where I am now. I’m 3 months clean. I’m starting school next week and I feel better than ever. I’m still picking up the piece of the things I’ve done and I feel so disgusted thinking back to the things I did to get a fix and the people I hurt but I know that it’s in the past. I just now turned sixteen and I’m studying to get my driving permit.

I know it’s hard to get clean, really VERY hard. But if you can go through the pain and hardship of addiction, you can handle sobriety. It’s cheaper and you get a whole lot more out of it. I thank God everyday that I stopped before I was too late, Arms Akers didn’t believe me when I told them the amounts I was doing at first they told me there was no way I didn’t OD.

But you build up a tolerance and I naturally had a decent tolerance for the stuff. I thank Jesus that I got the second chance that I did. There are times when I sit and cry and think about how much I want to get high. Like now for example but I have to tuff it out and go to meetings, when no meetings are going on at the time I go on websites like this to help get through it. When day-by-day is impossible, think hour-by-hour or even minute by minute. Sobriety is such a wonderful thing and if anyone on this website needs to talk my email is vmn[email protected] I’d love to help anyone out. Thanks for reading this.

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.” Remember guys your worth it, you wouldn’t be alive right now if you weren’t worth it. Regardless of what you’ve done or what anyone may think. You’re worth it.

Don’t give up hope.

by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Rickee,

Addiction is a VERY frustrating disease and one that will take all of your effort to stop. There are a couple of things I’d like you to remember:

1. Your addiction is a disease not a choice, for you, stopping without outside help is probably nearly impossible.

2. Addiction is a disease of the brain, it changes your brain chemistry so that you must use.

3. Help is available, find a good AA or Celebrate Recovery meeting in your area and start attending daily if possible. I find that some of the best AA meetings are help in churches in the evening, so that would be a good place for you to start. You have already started the 12 step program because you have come to believe that your addiction is unmanageable and that on your own you are powerless over your addiction.

Finally, there is hope available even if you feel hopeless right now, seek help and you will find it.


by: rickee

I don’t like the thought of being addicted. But it feels like past things haunt me. I exist when I’m around people; but when I’m alone I hide from my own thoughts. I’m honestly disgusted at the path i had chosen along time ago, as inebriated as i used to be. I’m at a loss for words here, i hate to say it but being a coward is not a legitimate career. I feel like I’m falling shamelessly into oblivion… so many question not enough answers.

Can’t Get Rid of Thoughts

by: Ned Wicker

Dear Brandon,

It is very common for an ex-user to have cravings. I quit smoking over 20 years ago and stopped drinking, but I still have those thoughts about lighting up and downing a tall, cool mug of beer.

AA and groups like it are very helpful, because the meetings are attended by people just like you, who understand the cravings and have their own stories about how they deal with them.

I really think being a part of that recovery community will help you, if just for the fact that you’ll have somebody to talk to. It takes a little time to change your mind about something.

A thought is in your head and you determine is the wrong thought. What do you do, dwell on it and hope it goes away, or do you try to replace it with another thought? What do you want for yourself?

Focus on goals and ambitions, living a healthy and productive life. Think about the needs of others and do something to meet those needs. Think about people you love and show your appreciation for them. Most of all, be positive and realize that you get to make the choices in your life.

Choose to feel good. Choose not to have cravings. Choose to be healthy.

What you are going through is understandable. You’re not alone.

my addiction

by: brandon

I’m an ex user and I have been having thoughts and don’t know how to forget them?


by: robert

Dam we come from the same background yenno but Anyway it’s a daily struggle but it’s worth it on the 17th i got 4months clean!

Another 15 yr old on heroin

by: Anonymous

You should be very proud of yourself! Just today I learned that my 15 yr. old son has done heroin.

I knew his drug and alcohol use had spiraled out of control at times this past year, and I took him to treatment two weeks ago because since summer vacation started he was clearly in trouble, but I had no idea it had gone as far as it did.

The treatment center gave me his cell phone to take home with me yesterday, and I learned about the heroin from reading his text messages. He hasn’t had a perfect life, especially the second half of it which is about how long I have been trying to protect him and his younger brother from the effects of an ugly divorce and and abusive dad, but he has been loved and there is nothing I wouldn’t do for him except let him destroy himself or harm his brother.

He’s only been in treatment two weeks, but when I saw him yesterday he could not see any reason to stop doing drugs except to avoid getting in trouble. I know that isn’t enough.

I overcame an addiction to pills because my sons needed me and because I believed my life was supposed to matter. I couldn’t just quit living because I had children and I had hope.

My son is suicidal at times also, and he says that he doesn’t kill himself because of how much it would hurt me and his brother, but that is not enough to give him the desire to live or the drive to make a life for himself.

What is it that gave you the will to overcome the disease of addiction and what is it that keeps you from going back to where you were a year ago?

I am sorry your mother is gone. I would be very proud to have a daughter like you, and I’m sure she is smiling down on you from heaven.

You are a very special young lady. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope my son has the same strength of character that you do.

You are amazing! Good for you!!

You are going to be ok now. I believe it.

True Life: I Was Born Addicted

by: Molly S. (Triple Threat TV)


Were you born addicted to drugs or alcohol addiction since childbirth? Were you born already withdrawing? Do you currently struggle to survive because of your early addiction? Are detoxification and rehabilitation programs ineffective due to your premature dependency on drugs or alcohol?

Have you lost friends, family, and time because of your struggle? Has this addiction lead you to other addictions? Are you unable to fight your addiction alone?

Are you living one day at a time because you?re addicted to something you didn?t choose to be? Are you willing to seek help for your addiction?

If you appear to be between the ages of 18 and 26 and identify with any of the above, MTV wants to hear your story! Email us at [email protected]. Please be sure to include your name, location, telephone number, and a recent photo.

15-year-old addict

by: Tammy

OMG your story was amazing! I used to take pills (morphine, OCs) and my tolerance was so out of control, costing me a fortune, and I could not quit on my own (turned to a methadone clinic, tapered off but it took 2 years!).

Anyway, you sound so mature for your age and have been through so much! You should be sooooo proud of yourself!!!!!! 🙂 Which I’m sure you are.

Thank you for sharing your story. You sound really intelligent and I wish you all the best!!

15 year old…

by: Lynette


Hi- Thanks SO MUCH for sharing your story. It is sad but very encouraging because you are in recover! I am a recovering alcoholic – I’ve been clean for 25 years. I know how hard it is in the beginning-you never forget-but just get through one day at a time. Even one hour at a time.

I may e-mail you sometime. My son is in jail. He’s 27 years old. He’s been struggling with alcoholism and drug abuse since he was 14 years old.

Well, good luck with your sobriety and I’ll pray for you-Lynette

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