by: Ned Wicker

Yours is a story common to all parents who suffer because of their child’s addiction. You are in a bad place.

On the one hand, you love your daughter and want the best for her. On the other hand, she is a legal adult and making her own decisions, and one of those decisions is to make her problem your problem.

You are the “walking zombie…” For starters, please take care of yourself first. Here’s an idea – go to your doctor and get a check up. While you’re there, talk to your doctor about what’s going on and ask for help.

You need resources!

You can’t fight this on your own. As long as she’s using, your daughter’s addiction will take its course.

She will not care about you, about her life, about anything other than getting high.

She needs to get into treatment.

Meth (ICE) is a nasty drug, as it can take an 18 year-old child and turn her into what looks like an emaciated 40 year-old.

But you need help to get her on the right path. Her living situation is completely inappropriate.

She is living with this guy and a 16 year-old?

She needs to get into treatment and after completing treatment she needs to get into an entirely different living environment.

She needs to do this because so many people go right back to the environment that got them into trouble.

You also need to understand that you are the “bad guy” and you are wrong and you don’t understand and you are nagging and you need to mind your own business.

Don’t listen to any of that. You need to establish a bottom line.

Go to your doctor, or go to Al-Anon or a like organization and get professional, expert help. The best thing you can do for your daughter is to educate yourself, take a firm, unwavering stand and start fighting.

But take care of yourself.

It is her problem, not yours. To be there for her, you need to be healthy.

by: Mitchell E. Wallick Ph.D. CAP

You are in a tough spot. Doing what comes naturally is the last thing she needs. Time for tough love. (Far harder on the parents than the child.

People get better when their fear of changing becomes less than the pain of their disease. Though it is uncomfortable and scary, you will have to take the risk of forcing her to feel her pain.

First make yourself knowledgeable and strong. Attend Narc-anon, or Al-anon and get yourself a good therapist. There is much strength in knowing you are not alone.. and also their experiences, mistakes and victories can be an excellent guide for you

Second, remember you are the parent. That means taking control. Removal of cell phones, computers, spending money, access to cars etc.. are a beginning .

In some extreme cases even throwing her out of the house is necessary. Yes she will be angry. What is a few days of her anger worth when weighed against the inevitable outcome of institutions, jail or death if she continues on her current path?

Using your new found power, FORCE her to go to treatment.

She is out of control. In treatment professionals can help her to once again become the daughter you knew and continue to love.

As a parent, and as a therapist for 43 years, I know that I am suggesting an almost impossible task. Isn’t the impossible what we do for our kids?

I wish you and her luck and trust in your higher power.

by: Anonymous

I need help, i have had counselling I’m loosing control of her and my life, my baby is 23 she has done terrible things to sustain her addiction, i need to know is there somewhere in the world where i can commit her and make her get help before it’s too late.

i will do anything…. can anyone help me before it’s too late, she will come home to recover for a few days then she’s off, I’m trying to do the tough love but i need help….. please I’m desperate please help me…..

by: Ned Wicker

This is going to sound strange and probably harsh, but if treatment is not an option and if she is declining rapidly, have you ever thought of having her arrested?

Addiction to meth, like many other substances, is like committing suicide on the installment plan. So often people get to the point where the only thing that matters is getting more drugs, and so either having them arrested or executing a civil commitment is an option to prevent them from killing themselves.

The trouble is she is 18 and she doesn’t have to do anything if she doesn’t want to. She can refuse treatment, refuse counseling and make her own decisions. The trouble is, her decision-making ability is seriously impaired, but the law still insists that she is an adult and on her own.

She could be arrested for possession and that might be the catalyst to getting her some help. Call Al-Anon, or a drug treatment center or your lawyer and see what is possible.

Law enforcement could be your friend here.