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Behind closed doors
A mom of 5 girls. I'm a cheermom/soccer mom/softball mom. My boyfriend of 6 year's has taken on the roll of being a dad to my 5 girls.
People see us with a nice house and think we have it all, but really behind my bedroom door is my own nightmare. I'm an addict of 12 years. My boyfriend wishes I would stop but it's so hard.
I can be good for long periods and then the devil creeps around, that temptation wins. It's not a excuse because I choose to do it. The longer I binge, the more I don't want to leave my own house. It's where my house feels like my prison.
I try to play it off with my kids, but I have 2 teenagers and I know their not stupid. I feel ashamed and I hate hurting my family. I know in time all change, but for now the struggle and constant temptation keeps getting in my way of recovery. So please don't judge me.
I know I'm in the wrong, but I can hope and pray that God will continue to be by my side and even pull me into the right direction!
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." - Matthew 7:7-8