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Behind closed doors

by Sena
(Arizona)

A mom of 5 girls. I'm a cheermom/soccer mom/softball mom. My boyfriend of 6 year's has taken on the roll of being a dad to my 5 girls.

People see us with a nice house and think we have it all, but really behind my bedroom door is my own nightmare. I'm an addict of 12 years. My boyfriend wishes I would stop but it's so hard.

I can be good for long periods and then the devil creeps around, that temptation wins. It's not a excuse because I choose to do it. The longer I binge, the more I don't want to leave my own house. It's where my house feels like my prison.

I try to play it off with my kids, but I have 2 teenagers and I know their not stupid. I feel ashamed and I hate hurting my family. I know in time all change, but for now the struggle and constant temptation keeps getting in my way of recovery. So please don't judge me.

I know I'm in the wrong, but I can hope and pray that God will continue to be by my side and even pull me into the right direction!

Comments for Behind closed doors

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Go to meetings!
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Sena,

God will help you if you're willing to begin the healing process and do the 12 steps. Here is Step 1:

Step One: We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol/drugs--that our lives had become unmanageable.

Your life sounds pretty unmanageable to me and the 12 steps will help you to reconnect with God and get His support as you begin the process of ending your addiction.

Please start going to AA or NA meetings in your area and LEARNING how connecting with your higher power will help you to end your addiction.

Debbie

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