Cocaine Drug Addiction
Cocaine drug addiction
glamorized in the movies and on television, it’s been the subject of pop
songs, and it even used to be an ingredient in Coca-Cola, but cocaine is
anything but glamorous, not worth singing about and certainly not legal.
It isn’t cool. Cocaine is highly addictive drug, potentially
deadly and the cause of ruined lives, prison time and misery.
Cocaine is a
powerful stimulant drug, used primary for illegal recreation and that is the
focus of this article. It is highly
addictive, widely abused and the product of a multi-billion dollar
international criminal enterprise. The
drug is derived from the coca plant and is usually found in powdered form,
which can be snorted, or smoked. In the
case of crack cocaine, for example, it is processed into small cubes and gets
its name from the sound it makes when smoked.
Some users may choose to dissolve the drug in water and shoot it.
Cocaine is a Schedule II drug and highly addictive. When used
regularly, the user will build up a tolerance that in combination
with the fact that the high is rather short-lived, users tend to use
more to maintain a high or achieve the desired effects.
It is not uncommon for users to binge, even after detoxification and
treatment. Even after long periods with using, many addicts will go
through a cocaine withdrawal and develop an intense desire to chase the high.
Many recovering addicts talk about those cravings and tell stories
of how difficult it can be to deal with them and live a healthy
Escape is the goal of
People want the
euphoria. They may believe they are more
self-aware, or alert, or creative and for some the cocaine releases their
inhibitions. Shy people become the life
of the party, or they may feel empowered and strong. But it is all a myth. The
effects wear off and the nasty, sinister side of the drug takes over.
People like the drug because it helps them escape from their
problems and they feel better about themselves.
Because of this effect, people will want to abuse this drug to achieve
those desired feelings, to deal with the reality of life and try to make a
better way. They will fail. They will
become slaves to the drug as more and more is needed, and soon the drug becomes
the center point of their life, with no room anymore for family, friends and
Because cocaine is a stimulant, it is effective for weight
loss; a little too effective. People
will lose their appetite and as a result of not wanting to eat, they lose
weight. Cocaine drug addiction often
causes addicts to become very thin, gaunt and appear generally unhealthy. Because the drug has taken over and the brain
is tricked into thinking it needs cocaine to function properly, people may
experience severe, even bizarre mood swings, especially when denied access to
They can become irritable, paranoid and sadly aggressive or
violent. This writer once knew a man who
after years of not using, started up again and one night was picked up by
police because he was crawling down the middle of a city street, stark naked
and had no idea where he was, what he was doing or what was going on. This led to a period of dark depression, and
as always the cravings persisted.
Suicidal thoughts are
addiction symptoms are sometimes overshadowed by the side effects, such as
suicidal thoughts, hallucinations and panic attacks. Long-term users are in jeopardy of
developing cardiovascular disease. Many
cocaine addicts also drink alcohol and the combination can be fatal. Stroke is
also a major concern with coke users.
The sad reality is that the stimulating effects of cocaine
actually cause people to use cocaine just to feel normal. They can’t feel happy without it. This artificial pleasure is necessary, as the
brain has been tricked. Without the
drug, the person cannot experience pleasure.
Without the drug they become irritable and paranoid.
Treatment is the only positive option for cocaine drug
addiction, but even then an amazing 94% are expected to relapse. Cocaine drug addiction is difficult to treat
and difficult to manage.
The addict disappears and is consumed by the drug.
cocaine addiction will consume the individual, so the only chance the addict
has is to try treatment, try again when they relapse and keep trying until they
can learn to overcome the cravings, the poor choices and the destructive
behavior that has impacted their life.
My struggle through the 12 steps
The following is a story of the struggle to overcome my
relationship with cocaine addiction. You will see terms such as she,
her, my love. These are all references to cocaine.
remember the day I realized that she had made my life unmanageable. I
was alone at this point, she once again had left me broken and
depressed, but the difference is this time I had pushed everyone who
cared about me out of my life, cause she told me that they were all
wrong, that there was nothing wrong with our love.
You see real
family and friends had warned me I was spending too much time with her,
she wasn’t good for me and eventually she would break me. I did not
believe them. On this day I woke up turned over to kiss her as I had
every morning, but something stopped me. I went into the bathroom, I
looked in the mirror and began to cry. I had spent so much time with her
that I had lost weight, had bags under my eyes, and was a shell of who I
I looked at her and just couldn’t bear the sight of
her anymore. She got mad and promised that I would dream of her when she
wasn’t there, that I would never find a love like her again.
this point I began to pray for my life. I needed to believe something
could bring me back to reality, to break this sick love I had for her.
Oh she didn’t want to leave, but I couldn’t live like this anymore. I
began to pray to a God of my understanding, the God who created the
universe, the God who showed their existence through the complexity of
life, universe, and being.
This God of my understanding
was the only thing I believed could deliver me from her hell. I had no
choice but to trust in their existence and believe that if I turned my
fate and my life over, I would be saved from sure death.
I sat and prayed, I began to look through my own existence and see
where I went wrong and how I ended up with her. I realized that when I
was with her, I forgot about any and all problems, they were still
there, but our love blinded me to the fact my problems were growing.
realized that in my own head, the way I walked, talked and thought, had
led me to her. I lied, stole, and manipulated people whether I was with
her or not.
The difference was she accepted me no matter what.
She told me she loved me no matter what I did, but especially loved that
I would do anything for her. I realized my love for her had twisted the
moral fiber of my soul and realized I needed to change this, all of it.
There was no keeping defects I liked, I needed to change everything.
this point, I made a list of the things I had done that was wrong. It
was a long list, but I had to do this. Like letting balloons go in the
sky, I needed to let this out and let it go. I hoped this would lighten
the load of the world on my shoulders. I admitted my wrongs to my
universal God, the Great Spirit, and to a close friend who had loved her
once before, but was able to break his love and show me how to break
By figuratively letting the balloons go, my defects, I
began to feel better. I prayed to God to take my balloons, take them
all for I do not want or need them anymore.
It was not
easy to ask God to take these, but I had no choice, I had to put my head
down and say “ Yes, I valued some of these things as a gift, but now
they are my curse, please God take them.”
began to think of all those I had pushed away because she told me to.
Anyone that did not agree with our relationship, I shut out of my life.
These people were the closet ones to me, my mother, my father, son, my
brother and my sister. There were also many friends I had that did not
like her, that I put on my list hoping they would accept my apology.
They were right, I was wrong.
Also included on this list was
myself. I had become so consumed with her, that I didn’t care bout
myself, how I dressed, how I looked, whether I was clean or not, you see
she didn’t care why should I? I could show up dirty looking like hell
and she would still be there for me.
I went down my
list and visited the people one by one. I was amazed at the joy in their
faces to see me. They were so happy I had left her; they forgave me and
said I was welcome back.
I did not understand, because I was so
nasty with everyone, but they told me they know she had me under her
spell, that it was not me talking, it was her. But I said that it was my
choice to be with her, but they still forgave me. They had heard of her
and knew what she was capable of.
Then I went to my son, who is
very young, and I couldn’t explain to him quite yet about my sick love
affair, but I apologized for not going to his games, not being there,
and even not wanting to be with him, because I would rather be with her.
You see a judge had even told me I could not have my son over
my house if I continued this love, so I basically told him I will love
who I want, so I don’t care, no one can stop this affair. I realize now
what a mistake this was.
It was taught to me that I needed
to continue to watch my ways, for if went to my old ways, she somehow
would find me. Whenever I was wrong in a situation, I made sure to take
note and do things different, for I am so afraid of her coming back,
that I do anything to keep her away. Oh make no mistake, I still dream
of her, hold her, loving her.
These dreams were so real that I
swore she was next to me; I would wake up, look to my side in horror,
and then realize she wasn’t there. This was her trick to get me back,
for she had forever been embedded in my mind.
to pray to the God of my understanding, the Great Spirit, the universe
itself. I prayed for guidance, for protection from her. I am so afraid
of her that I can’t keep her away by myself; I need help to do so. The
universe itself, the one I feel oneness with, protects me as long as I
ask, and do what’s right by it.
Finally, and most
important, I warned other of her sick love. I carried the message that
you can break her love, but you have to be willing to. You see the evil
she posses is timeless. Whether it was 120 years ago, when they believed
she could help people or yesterday, she takes your soul all the same.
is my job, and my duty to warn people of her, and in doing so I remind
myself of her evil, and together we can keep her from tricking others.
My name is Jimmy, and she is was cocaine.
Thank you SO MUCH for sharing your story! It is truly inspiring.
I am a recovering alcoholic – I have not drank for 25 years.
My son is a drug addict and alcoholic and, unfortunately, he is now
in jail. He has been struggling with this for 13 years and he is 27
I can relate so much to what you said in your story.
I am going to copy it and send it to my son. He is now talking
about turning his life around. He was actually clean for 7 months (for
the first time in 13 years) and then relapsed. I hope and pray that he
does. I go to Al Anon and it helps me immensely. I also see a
counselor, talk to my minister and see a physician’s assistant.
I hope you are getting all the support you can get. Being that you
mentioned the 12 steps I am thinking that you are probably going to
Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous.
I think my son has tried just about every drug there is. But, it is ironic because the one he relapsed with was cocaine.
Well, God bless you and I will pray for you!
Her name is cocaine
Good analogy Jimmy. Cocaine addiction, like most, is a love
affair. We addicts slowing go from liking to loving the feeling we get
from drugs. Unfortunately the down side, the consequences, can be
staggering. Then it’s like a bad marriage that just keeps getting worse.
Divorce is the only option.
“I continued to pray to the God of
my understanding, the Great Spirit, the universe itself. I prayed for
guidance, for protection from her. I am so afraid of her that I can?t
keep her away by myself; I need help to do so.”
It’s a humbling
admission to reach out for help, to say I can’t do this alone. There is
lots of help though. Lots of people who have fought this same battle and
won. They meet in groups all over the globe.
Here’s another ‘woman’ that you apparently must have bumped into along the way.
“for wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with HER.”
There is a lot of wisdom in the rooms.