by Frank LaRosa
(New Orleans, LA)
My girlfriend is a former addict of crack cocaine. Her use span was between 3-4 years. According to her she has completely stopped using, but sometimes I wonder if that’s the total truth.
Her brain just doesn’t seem to work normal. She finds fault in me for everything, doesn’t take responsibility for any of her own actions and turns everything around on me. No matter what I’m trying to discuss with her she takes offense, starts yelling and cursing me and being abusive, then turns on me, and accuses me for everything that she is showing to be.
There is no middle of the road, no peace to be made and no compromise. She will tear me down or anybody who may find a fault in her. She will not accept criticism in any form, constructive or corrective. She has a very shallow life, which only consist of sitting on the sofa all day, on the ipad, iphone and watching tv.
She doesn’t cook, doesn’t maintain the house, has no job, but has a lot of money from a divorce settlement, which she uses as her power tool.
But God forbid I say anything about getting up and doing something productive. She’ll use any excuse in the book to reason why she is the way she is and then start accusing me of not liking her, or hating everything about her. It’s a daily fight with her.
She’s educated in social work and even when I try to encourage her to get up and do some good for others with her experience and background, she finds fault in me for that. Then says I have the problem that I’m the abusive one, that I need help, that I am a narcissist, etc. I can’t get through at all. She takes offense to everything.
She has never been to any kind of treatment program, just quit (I think) on her own and claims that her cocaine use didn’t affect her in any way. But getting along with her is trying to make sense of the devil.
What can I do?