by: Anonymous

It continues to amaze me how well addicts can manipulate there family. Apparently there seems to be some confusion concerning the baby and mom’s use of dope. I guess you will have to choose between mom’s drug use and the chance of bringing the child into the world with possible birth defects. Birth defects that the child may have to endure it’s entire life!!??

Gosh, this ones to tough for me to figure out. Why don’t you call the ‘psychic hot-line’ maybe they can suggest something.

Good luck, Joe

by: Ned Wicker

Pam,

Y

our daughter is in trouble more than she knows or understands. This detox at home business does not cut it, so you need to come up with a game plan to help her.

Do not assume she is telling you the truth, that she wants treatment or that she has any realization that her behavior might devastate her baby’s health.

Do not allow her to be in charge, because addicts rarely make good decisions. You need to understand her addiction and books like Joe Herzanek’s “Why Don’t They Just Quit?” are solid resources to help you along.

Call Al-Anon and get some help and support for yourself, so you aren’t fighting this battle alone. Make some phone calls to your doctor, a drug treatment center or a local hospital and see what your options are.

Have a family conference and get your plan together.

by: Lynette

3/22

First of all, I, personally, don’t really agree with Joe’s attitude. But, he’s free to express his opinion.

However, I can really relate to your situation. My son is 27 and has been using drugs since he was 14 years old. I tried EVERYTHING I could do to help him for 13 years. He also stole from me and my husband. Now the last year I have been trying to detach from him. I go to Al Anon meetings (for friends and families of alcoholics and drug addicts). That is where I learned that by helping him I was really just helping him continue to use. I also learned that I need to think of myself, take care of myself and do things that I like to do. I was so caught up in trying to help him that I neglected myself and went downhill. I’m doing better now-I have lots of support-a counselor, my minister, and my physician’s assistant. Get some support for yourself!

Unfortunately, he is now in jail for DUI and for violating parole, and this is not his first time. I know how hard it is when it is your child, and now your grandchild. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I strongly advise that you go to an Al Anon meeting and that your daughter go to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting or a Narcotics Anonymous meeting. You can find meetings near you on the internet.

As far as detoxing, I know that the hospital near us has a detox unit. You have to go through the ER to get admitted to it. Perhaps you could check with your hospital or with your medical doctor.

I hope I have helped you in some way. I do advise that you be wary because addicts CAN get you to do just about anything – when it is your child you love them – but try NOT to help her unless she is also sincerely seeking help herself.

Best wishes and I’ll say a prayer for you.-Lynette

by: Pam

Thanks for responding to my question about my pregnant 26 yr old daughter detoxing from opiates,suboxone.

She is on day 4 off the suboxone. She has been having night chills, body aches, extreme lethargy and my sister advised her to contact a high risk ob/gyn doctor which she told me she did, but lied and never contacted one.

She is supposed to start an out-patient rehab facility in a couple of days. Personally, I feel she needs inpatient, but I cannot force her. Should I demand to go with her for the intake?

Unfortunately, I don’t trust anything she says. Is there something anyone is aware of, other and Suboxone, Subutex or Methadone that she can take while pregnant to help her and her baby.

I’m at witts end…thanks for your response.

by: Lynette

3/26

Hi again Pam,

I read your second comment. I do not feel qualified to answer the questions that you asked. I think the best thing for you to do would be to speak to a drug and alcohol counselor in your area or to a medical doctor for guidance, advice and help.

I know how if feels when you don’t know what to do and when you want to help your child so badly.

One thing I can add, she IS living with you so I believe that gives you leverage in making the decisions.

I will continue to pray for you all-Lynette

by: Ned Wicker

You say your daughter has lied to you about seeking specialized medical help for her pregnancy. She says she’s going to go into out-patient rehab. I don’t believe her and I share your concern.

Her addiction is going to fight to keep hold of her and you have to stand firm and do what it takes. There is no comprimise here. The addiction wants to be fed and your daughter seems to be fighting this battle alone.

If she refuses in-patient, then she has to be watched, day and night, and forced to go to out-patient sessions. If she refuses to cooperate, then there has to be consequences for her decisions, especially since there is a baby involved.

She needs to see that OB/GYN and closely moniter her pregancy. I’ve seen too many babies lost because mother couldn’t make a reasonable decision.