My name is Don. I am an addict/alcoholic and compulsive gambler. Though I have attempted to stay sober and bet free for the past several years, I have failed to do so. Every time I make a concerted effort to stop one addiction, another one pops up.
It often bounces from alcohol to gambling, ending in terrifying crack binges about every 2 years. Frightened, I start seeking help through 12 step programs, only to get feeling somewhat better, and the cycle starts all over again! It is horrifying! My career, and personal relationships are hanging on by a thread!
I do realize, at this point, I am beyond human aid. I have read the big book of AA, and understand that the answer lies in working the steps. One of my biggest shortfalls in the past, is the lack of making meaningful connections with other addicts.
Not being accountable has left me an enormous amount of wiggle room! The lies and deception set in, and this horrific cycle starts all over again!
I have had a recent full blown relapse, and am back at meetings with my ears and eyes wide open to the truth. Addiction is a horrifying thing!
I am making an attempt this time to get a sponser, AND work with him to complete the steps. And, despite being an introverted loner, I am putting my hand out and making connections with other addicts.
My point is, that I know recovery is possible. I've been around AA long enough to see others turn their life around. I am praying to God that it can work for me too!
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." - Matthew 7:7-8