Endless Cycle

by Don

My name is Don. I am an addict/alcoholic and compulsive gambler. Though I have attempted to stay sober and bet free for the past several years, I have failed to do so. Every time I make a concerted effort to stop one addiction, another one pops up.

It often bounces from alcohol to gambling, ending in terrifying crack binges about every 2 years. Frightened, I start seeking help through 12 step programs, only to get feeling somewhat better, and the cycle starts all over again! It is horrifying! My career, and personal relationships are hanging on by a thread!

I do realize, at this point, I am beyond human aid. I have read the big book of AA, and understand that the answer lies in working the steps. One of my biggest shortfalls in the past, is the lack of making meaningful connections with other addicts.

Not being accountable has left me an enormous amount of wiggle room! The lies and deception set in, and this horrific cycle starts all over again!

I have had a recent full blown relapse, and am back at meetings with my ears and eyes wide open to the truth. Addiction is a horrifying thing!

I am making an attempt this time to get a sponser, AND work with him to complete the steps. And, despite being an introverted loner, I am putting my hand out and making connections with other addicts.

My point is, that I know recovery is possible. I've been around AA long enough to see others turn their life around. I am praying to God that it can work for me too!

Comments for Endless Cycle

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I will pray for you too!
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Don,

I'll pray that you are able to find a sponsor who will support you as you struggle to move past your incapacitating addictions. I will also pray that you can repair your strained personal relationships.

I also believe that our addictions aren't controllable within our own humanly power. We need divine intervention to gain the strength and wisdom necessary to fully recover from our addictions.

Fully surrendering to our higher power allows us to introspectively gain the insight necessary to move to a place where we realize that we're all made in God's image. That through His love we can see a more accurate and positive view of ourselves and our value, allowing us to move toward the joyous and free life he has for us.

The 12 steps help us to gain that positive insight and value ourselves and everyone around us much more.

Good luck an God's speed as you move through the 12 steps,

Debbie

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and Finally Remember:

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."
- Matthew 7:7-8


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