Heroin & crack ruined me
by Michele
(Louisiana)
I’ve been a heroin addict for 15 years. It brought me so low. I became a prostitute, lived under a bridge, went to jail, and had a heart valve replaced caused by bacteria from shooting up. I just got sick of it.
I also shot up and smoked cocaine with the heroin. It was a dark, dark world I lived in. The prolonged cocaine use caused severe paranoia to the point where I no longer knew what reality was.
I finally just got sick of it. Last november I finished 9 months of a year long inpatient program. Due to lack of funding the place was closed and we were all discharged with no place to go.
Instead if using the coping skills I learned I quickly started using heroin again. Long story short life got worse and worse. I moved out of state and haven’t used heroin since.
I have taken pills on numerous occasions and recently started smoking crack again. It sucks…I feel like a robot unable to control myself. It’s crazy really…drugs create insane amounts or problems.
Without the heroin I’ve often suffered such severe depression I pray for death. Mix cocaine into that and it’s triple the depression. I wish I never took drugs but since there’s no point in dwelling on mistakes…I wish more that anything the obsession to use would be lifted. Don’t do drugs…it might seem fun at first…but for many it leads to a life of disease..heart ache…destruction…death.
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Use either suboxone or methadone to get clean and find something worth living for, the best reasons are spouse and kids. If you feel like you need something to take off the edge, smoke weed instead it helps a lot. |
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That comment you made was extremely rude. If this site depresses you instead of inspires you..don’t read it!! Michele: God Bless you and may he comfort you in your time of need and help you to overcome your disease of addiction. Thank you for sharing your story. My prayers are with you. |
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Depressing
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Hope for a Better Life
You have certainly experienced addiction’s dark tunnel to nowhere and I pray that you can find relief. Addiction, unlike other diseases, leaves so many on their own due to lack of funding or poor insurance coverage. I would encourage you to seek out those in the recovery community, such as AA, and try to cultivate a support network for yourself. Even though you had treatment, you realized how easy it is to slip back into old habits. A 12 Step program might help you to rebuild your life and seek God’s help in getting you through the rough patches. The steps will work for you if you allow them to work. When you have no resources, when there does not seem to be hope, when you feel like you’re at the bottom of your rope, that’s where God’s rope begins. I hope you can find peace and return to a happy, healthy life. |