How can i get my son into drug and alcohol rehab against his will?

by Olivia
(San Diego County, CA)


My son is 19 yrs old, and his an addict on 3 different kinds of drugs, one is marijuana, 2nd pure alcohol (tequila), and his abusive girlfriend. It seems like the more i try to help my son the more we go down the drain with him.

I have tried so many different ways to help him and nothing seems to work. He has Kaiser Permanente insurance, which is the worst insurance when it comes to rehab. I hate it. My son has been having this problem since he was 15 yrs. old, now his 19, he doesn't wanna work or study, he doesn't take showers, he can't even handle the house shores anymore, his always looking for loose change everywhere to buy alcohol, which of course when he can't find any, he goes and does beer runs.

I am so desperate and sad, hopeless, powerless, because i cant help him anymore, i keep asking my self in what moment did i drop the ball, cause i sure don't remember where. i work so hard just for him and at home too, but at this moment i am clueless, i don't know what path to take, I'm always here waiting every night for the one knock on my door from the police saying that he got shot for stealing, or that he got run over by a car because he was drunk and didn't see the car coming, or that his uncontrolled druggie alcoholic girlfriend stabbed him.

I'm so scared, and it's not fair, parents are not supposed to bury their own kids, they supposed to bury us. I keep asking my self, why me? why my son? how and when is this nightmare going to end? I don't wanna throw him to the streets because i know for sure his going to get killed.

Please somebody help me, i need to get my son into a rehab center against his will. i have prayed and ask God to take both of my hands and give me the wisdom and strength to help my son, and he knows how much I've cried and begged him to help me, but no answer. PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!!! :(

Comments for How can i get my son into drug and alcohol rehab against his will?

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Al-anon and an intervention may help.
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Olivia,

The devastation you're experiencing must be so painful. As a counselor, I work with many mother's who want so desperately to help their son's to end an addiction.

Let's start with what your son needs to do. First, he needs to start attending AA meetings DAILY and begin to earnestly work the 12 steps, get sponsor and stop drinking or using any other mind altering drug.

He also needs to go to a doctor so that he can detox SAFELY from alcohol. Alcohol detox can be deadly. (I had a patient whose son died in a hotel room trying to detox from alcohol on his own) He MUST have medical supervision to detox safely.

He must also be assessed by a treatment center, and should go into at least 30 days of inpatient and 90 days of outpatient treatment to help him to avoid relapse.

I understand that you know what he needs but I just wanted to be clear so we are both on the same page with what he needs to do. The problem you have is how to get him to do these things?

I recommend you begin to attend Al-anon meetings and working the 12 steps yourself. This process will help you to better understand what you're dealing with and with a good sponsor you can develop a good intervention plan to help your son.

Addiction to alcohol is a fatal disease and it sounds like your son is severely addicted. So time is of the essence for you to plan and do an intervention but you will need a lot of support to plan it correctly.

You can also go to a good local treatment center(people at Al-anon can help you to make a good choice) and work with a professional interventionist to get him into treatment. So, there is a lot you can do but the first step is to start attending Al-anon meetings today and go to at least two meetings a week to get the information you need to help your son.

God is listening to you, but each of us make our own choices and you have to help your son learn how to make better choices. Alcohol ATTACKS the brain and stops your son becoming the man he should be. Alcohol has control of your son and it will take all of your and his strength and determination to get rid of the grip that it has on him.

May God bless you as you begin this difficult journey,


My heart goes out to you
by: Anonymous

I too am going through a very difficult time. My daughter is also addicted and it's heartbreaking Things just keep getting worse and worse. I feel helpless and alone. I don't know what to do but I am searching for solutions. You are not alone.

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