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I understand now..
This story isn't about me. It's about my older brother, Gustavo. When he first started using drugs I was about 10 or 11 years old. He started smoking weed, I used to go with him to parks with his "friends" so my parents won't suspect anything. I would be on the swings without realizing that my brother was starting to become an addict right before my eyes.
I used to have a lot of guilt because I would tell myself that if I told my parents what Gustavo was doing in the park his addiction wouldn't have started. It was too late.
Gustavo and my family never suffered for anything. We had money, family, love. I didn't understand why he needed drugs. Until he started to try harder drugs. But what really got him hooked was this drug called spice.
The main reason why he liked it was because when my mom tested him for drugs he passed the test because the drug he was using didn't show up in the test. I had to see my family suffer at the age 10-14. I have to see my mom cry.
I was very angry with Gustavo. Gustavo went into a clinic in Tijuana. We thought he learned something so when he returned to my house everything was absolutely perfect for 2 weeks. Until everything came falling apart.
We had to put him into the clinic again. This time I became wiser. But I couldn't cry, yell, or do anything, I had to be strong for my mom. Gustavo is in a rehab in Mexico right now.
The first time we showed him the clinic he wanted to stay. But this time and the last time he went against his will. It is very very very hard to have an addict in the family. But now I attend NA meetings and I understand that Gustavo is a different person then the rest, he isn't normal. He seeks something different and he thought he found "it" in drugs.
I miss him, but I know he is in rehab for his own good. I want to be physiologist for addicts so I could help people like my brother. I know this is a process and my family and I have to be strong. I love you Gustavo Stay strong.
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." - Matthew 7:7-8