I want to help my husband but how?

by Nancy
(Los Angeles, CA, USA)

My husband of 10 years is an addict! He does coke, smokes marijuana and drinks. I believe he might be taken ecstasy pills too.

He has left his family, can no longer hold a job, meets at the bar every night with a younger crowd (about 10 years younger) and claims to be in love with another younger woman who is also a drug addict.

I want to help but don't know how, he doesn't want anything to do with us, or his parents, or siblings. He is just running the streets all night with this woman and other young drug users. How do I help him and let him see this woman and crowd that are not good for him?

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Very challenging and terrible situation
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Nancy,

You're in a very difficult and challenging situation. Your husband is addict and because of that he is making terrible choices and betraying you and all of his family.

Drug addiction is a disease of the brain, that left untreated is often fatal. When we use drugs or alcohol, are brain has to adapt to be able to process the drugs. The more we use the more our brain changes.

These changes in our brain often negatively effect our inhibitions and take away our moral dos and don'ts, which are a fundamental part of our personality. That's why doctors view drug/alcohol addiction as a disease of the brain that can be treated but not cured.

If your husband could regain his sobriety, then hopefully he would become the person you married again. Each of us is wonderfully and uniquely made, so how we recover from addiction is also unique.

I highly recommend that you begin attending Al-anon at least two times a week right away. Al-anon teaches us about addiction and helps us to decide how to help our loved one to move past it. Going to Al-anon and working the 12 steps helps us to continue to love the addict but HATE their addiction.

It sounds like your husband is being consumed by the drugs he's taking and he will need the strong support of those who love him the regain control of his life.

Good luck,


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