My husband is becoming more and more alcohol tolerant?

by Rachna

My husband is becoming more and more alcohol tolerant and smokes secretly. He also takes some form of tobacco in his Paan. Whenever questioned about it, he becomes indignant and aggressive about it.

His family (parents and siblings)think the world of him and my suggestions to take him through therapy are looked down upon, as if I am suggesting that he see a shrink! But I am so, so concerned for him and our family!

What should I do?

Get Help For You First

by: Ned Wicker

It’s tough seeing what you see and knowing that others do not agree. Your husband’s family is in denial, chosing quite deliberately to ignore the obvious. Your husband is also in denial, not wanting to quit drinking or doing whatever else he’s doing. You are the bad guy.

I recommend a call to Al-Anon to seek their support and guidance. This organization is comprised of people just like you, who care about their loves ones and want to take positive steps to help get them into treatment and recovery.

You need support, because if you try to go it alone, bucking the blindness of his family too, you’re going to be in for frustration. You need a plan. Al-Anon can help.

My husband is becoming….

by: Lynette


Dear Rachna-Thanks for writing.

I definitely agree with Ned’s comments. I attend Al Anon meetings (for families and friends of alcoholics and drug addicts) and they have helped me immensely. My son has been struggling with alcohol and drug addiction for 13 years. The meetings have helped me to learn what I needed to do. Also, I have met a lot of great people there who understand.

Don’t give up. You are NOT alone. There is a lot of help out there. Perhaps you could also see a counselor, talk to a clergy or talk to a medical doctor (I do all of these). As Al Anon teaches it if often most important to get help for yourself first and to get all of the support you can get.

Good luck and I’m praying for you-Lynette

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